A manther is the male version of a cougar: an older man who preys on younger women. This happens all the time, though people don’t really talk about manthers the way they talk about cougars. It seems to be a lot more socially acceptable for old dudes to go after younger women than old ladies to go after young dudes. Like, nobody seems to care either way so long as everyone is over eighteen, but older men dating and fucking younger women is celebrated in our society whereas older women dating and fucking younger men is regarded as kind of lame and pathetic. Which is a shame really, because older women are hot and some young guys are just really into older ladies. And that’s okay.
There are lots of examples of older male celebrities hooking up with younger female celebrities. Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta Jones, for example. Or Harrison Ford and Calista Flockhart. Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes. Bruce Willis and everyone Bruce Willis has ever dated. Hugh Hefner and everyone Hugh Hefner has ever dated. And the list goes on. There’s a much smaller list when it comes to celebrity cougars. Some infamous ones include Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher (now separated, but whatever…still counts). Elizabeth Taylor and Larry Fortensky. Edith Piaf and Theo Sarapo. Katie Couric and Brooks Perlin. Yes yes, there are cougars, but there are certainly way more manthers out there. And yet, nobody seems bothered by that. Nobody seems too bothered by the number of crazy Mormons who take their multiple wives at the ages of ten or eleven, which is obviously child abuse and crazy. I mean, people are obviously bothered by it outside of the Mormon community, but within the community everything is all hunky dory when it comes to marriage and these old seventy-year-old Mormon dudes having multiple wives of all different ages. Mormons love being manthers. They practically made up the term.
Like cougars, manthers are often found out on the prowl, in bars or other places where young women are found dancing and giggling and being sexy. My favourite manther of all time was the character on the movie Dazed and Confused, played by Matthew McConaughey. He was always at the pool hall where all the high school girls hung out and he was in his late twenties. The best line of that movie is still his line, said while surveying the hot high school chicks walking by, ‘I do love those high school girls. I get older…they stay the same age.’
1. My dad’s a bit of a manther. When I brought some of my college roommates home for thanksgiving he got all flirty with them. Then one of them started fucking him. To get back at her, I poured peroxide into her shampoo bottle. How was I supposed to know she shampoos her pussy?
2. I dated a total manther once. It didn’t really dawn on me that he was a manther until I cooked for him one night. I had to steam the vegetables until they were mushy just so he could chew them.
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