The Labyrinth is an aptly named term used to describe the entire process of young male virgins trying to navigate their way through the many faucets and chambers of female flesh in order to finally arrive at the desired destination, the clitoris.
For a young male, trying to find the clit can be as hard as trying to find a sober college student, or a republican politician that isn’t racist. For most first timers, the female genitalia appears to be nothing more than folds and folds of doughy flesh that leaks from time to time and comes adorned with a small patch of pubic hair at the top. It’s hard to believe that anyone can find a tiny little button-sized cluster of nerves in all that mess. Then again, many men never do find it, spending the rest of their days searching endlessly in the labyrinth, going from woman to woman hoping that someday it’ll get easier.
If you’re one of the lucky ones, your first time will be with a girl slightly older than yourself, so she’ll not only be mature enough to know about good hygiene and the importance of pubic maintenance, but she’ll also be aware of just how clueless most younger guys are, and she’ll help direct you to the sweet spot. If you’re really lucky, she’ll even have one of those modestly trimmed vaginas with a miniscule amount of labia, so her clit is gently and delicately poised at the top like a mint on a hotel pillow just waiting to be gobbled up.
Of course, that’s not very realistic. For most young men, their first time winding their way down the labyrinth is like getting into a sumo-wrestling match with Jabba the Hut.
There are two main areas that make it extremely difficult for young, inexperienced men to find their way to the end of the labyrinth: one being the entrance to the forest, and the other being the forest itself. The entrance (also known as the camel toe) to the labyrinth can be one of the most daunting tasks for young men, and can often discourage them before they even begin. Picture it this way: if you were a butcher looking for the most delicate and tender piece of flesh, would you want to have to saw your way through 1000lbs of excess flesh first? No, you wouldn’t. Thankfully for us, plastic surgeons have figured out a solution to this wrinkly maze.
The other inhibitor for young men who are eager to please their girlfriends is a much easier and less expensive situation than labia-plasty. For most girls, all it would take is a few hours of hot waxing in their bedroom, or even a quick 30 minute ordeal with a Bic Razor and some lathered soap, and the problem would be solved. In fact, you know that old fashioned saying “it’s like trying to find a needle in a haystack?” Well, that was actually created by Mormons and is a code word for how difficult it is to find the clitoris of a female Chewbaca.
1. When I finally found my way through the labyrinth and found my girlfriend’s clit, I was too exhausted to actually do anything with it.
2. Don’t ever underestimate the difficulties of finding your way through the labyrinth. I have old high school friends who I haven’t seen since Prom night just because of that.
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