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A Landing Strip is the cultivated public hair pattern on a female. It is much better than the Sascrotch (letting all the pubes run wild and free), but not quite as good as the full Brazilian (totally smooth and bald). Here’s the breakdown, y’all:
Chicks’ pussy areas are hot no matter what. You can’t tell me that if Angelina Jolie wanted to fuck you, and when she pulled down her pants she had a Sascrotch, you’d say no. You’d get on your knees and stick your nose right in the middle of those pubes so you could slide your tongue up that honeypot and see what all the damn fuss is about. (I mean, yeah she’s hot, but Brad could fuck a different “10” every night. What’s she got going on in that damn honeypot?!)
Honeypot is my olde-timey slang for vagina. Ain’t it quaint?
Anyway, the landing strip is like the mid-way point in between the full-on Brazilian and the Sascrotch. It’s where the woman shaves the pubis into a thin, long rectangle that goes from the top of her clit to the edge of her upper pubes. It’s a great way for women to shave their pubes because it is good for wearing a bikini or sexy underwear, and the clit and everything below is shaved and smooth. So, when you’re downstairs giving a woman some cunnilingus, there aren’t any stray pubes to get caught in your teeth or throat.
Damn irritating those pubes.
There are other options, of course when it comes to your pubes, ladies. In November, you can grow “the moustache” as your pubic hair style. That’s where you shave your pubes into a long, rectangular strip. If you hate Jews, you can call it “The Hitler”. If you like olde-timey comedians, you can call it “The Chaplin”. Don’t get me wrong – you shouldn’t hate Jews or like olde-timey comedy. Scarlett Johansson is Jewish, after all. Ain’t no reason to hate that!
If it’s Valentine’s Day and you want to do something special with your pubes for your man, consider shaving it into a heart. You can dye the hair red or pink if you want to go the extra mile. If you want to go the extra-extra mile, you can hire a hot prostitute with big, real tits and a tight, young body to come over to have a threesome with the both of you. If you want to go the extra-extra-extra mile, you can replace yourself with a second hot whore, and film your man having the threesome with the pros.
Very few ladies go the extra-extra-extra mile. Think about that.
1. During their auditions for the tv show “Wings”, all the actresses were asked to show their pubic hair styles to the producers. Crystal Bernard and Amy Yasbeck were the only ones who sported the Landing Strip. Due to its airport-connection, they were the two that were hired. That, and they swallowed.
2. Grandma has a grey landing strip.
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