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Lady parts are the genitals on a female. The pussy. The vulva. The lips and clit and vag. Yum.
Lady parts are the best parts. They’re the parts that every straight dude and every dyke and some straight chicks want to bury their faces in. They smell great, they taste awesome, and they do incredible things like spit out babies and have multiple orgasms.
People don’t celebrate lady parts the way they should. Lots of people are afraid of them. Our society teaches us that pussies are dirty and nasty and disgusting and should be shaved and bleached and wrapped up in saran wrap to avoid contagion. My own grandmother washed hers with hydrogen peroxide to keep it ‘clean’. Her poor pussy was bleached and brittle.
It’s weird how people are disturbed by lady parts when they’re pretty much the best thing out there. Anyone who has tasted pussy knows this. The first time I tasted pussy I pretty much had an orgasm at first lick. It tasted warm and moist and earthy and dark. Like licking a sex popsicle or lollypop. And the moaning I received from what my tongue was doing was the best reward.
1. I keep my lady parts all pretty and shaved just in case my boyfriend wants to tongue me down there. He insists that he doesn’t care if I shave, but I know it’s easier for him to find his way around. Sometimes I swear he would get lost if I didn’t point him in the right direction. And he seems to forget about the clit and focus on pretty much everything else, which is pretty weird given that the clit is the only part of my body that was created purely for my pleasure. You’d think he’d be eager to get his tongue on there, but no, he gets distracted and ends up sticking his tongue inside my hole. Then he gets excited and sticks his dick in my hole and we end up fucking and he forgets what he was doing in the first place. Sometimes I can’t help but think about my best friend in college. Sometimes when we’d come home drunk and giggly from a party, she’s convince me to get naked so she could put her face between my legs. It’s not gay if we’re drunk, she’d say and then she’d start tonguing my clit and she always knew, she just knew exactly where to put her tongue and how to run it in circles and in figure eights over my clit. I wish I could get her to train my boyfriend.
2. Lady parts are the best parts but if you don’t know how to work them, you’re never going to get a girl to suck your dick. The most important thing is to keep your face in there for a good twenty to thirty minutes at least, so that she knows you’re committed to the cause. And don’t forget to squeeze her tits while you’re eating her.
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