To jump someone’s bones means to have sex with them.
When you want to jump someone’s bones, you really really want to fuck them, or vise versa. You’re not just horny for them, you’re super-horny for them. The jumping is the key here. You’re not willing to just slowly undress and get some foreplay going. You’re actually going to jump on them when you see them, and get the in-and-out going asap. Hopefully the person whose bones you jump are in the mood too. Otherwise, somebody’s gonna have some very blue balls.
If a woman jumps a man’s bones, she’s really only jumping one particular bone: his cock. The cock doesn’t actually have any bones in it, but when it’s stiff, seems as hard as any other bone in the body. Hence the word “boner”. In actuality, if a woman wanted to jump the biggest bone on a man, she’d likely choose the femur. It’s the largest bone in the body, and is used for jumping. Connections!
Continuing down the road of jumping and bones, Evil Knievel, the famous motorcycle daredevil loved jumping things. He never jumped bones (mostly busses and the Grand Canyon and shit like that), but he did break bones. He was quoted as saying there wasn’t a bone in his body that hadn’t been broken. Commitment!
Then there is a Buffalo jump. That’s a cliff that native peoples used for forcing buffalo to jump off of and break their bones. Once they were immobilized, they’d move in with the spears and arrows and whatnot. In fact, there is an actual place in Alberta, Canada called Head-Smashed-In-Buffalo-Jump. Not a very romantic name for a town. Very few bed-and-breakfasts.
If you’re going to jump someone’s bones, make sure neither you nor they have osteoporosis. If either of you do, rather than jumping each other’s bones, you should go to bingo in the common room.
Just like wanting to jump on someone’s bones is good, there is an opposite expression. People say “Jump off my clit” or “Jump off my dick” if they want to be left alone. It is a slightly less offensive way of telling someone to fuck off. That’s why I use it with grandma when she tells me to get my life together. She cries a little and then joins her friends for bingo in the common room.
When you jump someone’s bones, there is the possibility that you will also “Jump the curb”. That’s when you accidentally slip out of a woman’s vagina, and your penis slides into her asshole. The curb is her taint, in this metaphor. It has happened to all of us, and the thing to remember is that if she’s into it, just keep fucking. If not, wash your dick off, apologize, and get back in her snooch.
1. When Rick got out of the Army he wanted to Jump Someone’s Bones. He chose a lucky whore down at the brothel to pound for four hours.
2. Single women at weddings are always looking to Jump Someone’s Bones.
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