A Joystick is a slang term for the penis. It’s a pretty good one, as far as slang terms for penis go. After all, it does bring joy to you and the person you’re sliding in and out of. And it’s a pink stick. You hold a joystick; you hold your penis. You squeeze a joystick; you squeeze your penis. Sometimes you throw your joystick at the computer screen when you die in the videogame you’re playing; sometimes you squirt your semen onto the computer screen when you cum watching the porn you’re streaming. So many similarities.
Every now and then you have to bring your joystick to the repair shop to get a button or spring fixed; every now and then you have to bring your penis to the doctor to get your gonorrhea fixed. Not me, you understand – I use rubbers – but some of my buddies have talked to me about it.
There are all sorts of different kinds of joysticks. There are the old-school Atari joysticks that are really basic – one stick about four inches long, and one button on the base of the controller. Perfect for playing Asteroids, or sticking up a kinky woman’s smooch. Use a condom, of course.
Then there are the joysticks with the trigger and the form-fitting hand grip. God it’d be sweet if our penises were shaped more like that. The contours for holding it would stimulate a woman’s g-spot much more effectively than the single ridge on today’s penis. And if you could actually pull a trigger on your cock to make yourself cum? That would be amazing. When I need to “pull the trigger” to make myself cum, I just think about this hot waitress at my local pub and stick my thumb up my ass. Squirt city.
Today’s video game systems such as the Wii use differently shaped controllers to play more interactive games, like hula-hooping or dancing. It won’t be long before there is a sex doll controller for a fucking game. You fuck the sex doll, and on screen there is a computer animation of a beautiful woman getting fucked by you. If you can make her cum, you win!
Mark my words. It’s coming. And so will you!
The game could teach you all about different speeds and rhythms and techniques for fucking. The doll could have a g-spot sensor for a special bonus fuck level. For those who could afford it, the doll would have adjustable Kegel controls and a secondary (asshole) input hole. They should do a lot of testing before releasing the sex doll for Wii, since you don’t want the robot vagina in the sex doll malfunctioning and causing any permanent damage to innocent penises.
Kind of gives a new meaning to the game “Space Invaders”. Because you’ll be “invading” her “space”. Meaning her vagina or asshole.
1. Karen gripped my joystick firmly under the dinner table.
2. John Wayne Bobbitt went from joystick to roller-ball controller.
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