To engage in Jewish Foreplay means to beg for sex. God, I’ve been there.
Many, many, many times.
Many.
It is obviously a stereotype to say that all Jewish women are frigid and don’t give up the pussy. I’ve dated a handful of Jewish women in my day, and they all liked sex just fine. One was a fucking nympho, now that I remember. She had the long, brown curly hair that is so sexy. And big, perky C-cups. Good ass. Where’d I put her number…
Where was I? Oh yeah – Jewish foreplay means begging for sex. God I’ve been there. It’s the worst when you have to beg for sex. I guess I can understand why women do it. Even in today’s modern society women don’t have much power. Oh sure, they can vote and technically become president, but let’s face it: men are in control. If I had no power in my day to day life, I’m sure I’d be tempted to exert some sexual power over my husband or boyfriend. He represents the gender that has taken all the power after all.
Except he’s not every man, ladies. He’s a man. Your lover. Fuck him. Right now.
You can fuck him and still exert control and have power, by the way! You don’t have to keep sex in the vault. Be slightly dominant in the sexy times. Tease him. Tantalize him. That’s always amazing. Making him beg for even just a blowjob is demeaning for him. Then you think less of him because he’s begging. But you made him beg in the first place? You see how unhealthy it all becomes?!
Now, don’t get me wrong – we’ve all been in a situation when we’re just not in the mood. I remember once I was dating a woman, and she came over to hang out one night. She made me a nice Gefilte fish dinner. It happened to be the tenth anniversary of my dog Fluffy’s untimely demise. Fluffy was a little dog and was playing in the yard when she was snatched up by a huge fucking hawk. I ran out in the yard and saw Fluffy’s face looking back at me, looking scared and confused, as they disappeared into the distance.
So, suffice to say, I wasn’t really in the mood. I was sullen and quiet. This girl couldn’t read my signs. She undid my fly and pulled my cock out. I pushed her hands away and continued watching TV. She started to ask me if she could suck my cock. I said no. She thought I was playing a game, so she started really begging me for it. I kept saying no, and she kept getting more and more desperate for it.
By the time I finally let her lips touch my hog, she was completely naked, soaking wet, and horny as hell. I only fucked her doggy style, in tribute to Fluffy’s memory.
1. Hugh Hefner never uses Jewish Foreplay.
2. I prefer cunnilingus to Jewish Foreplay.
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