Eleventh Finger is a slang expression for a man’s penis. If you count the ten digits on his hands, his penis counts as his eleventh digit. In fact, if you ever need to count to eleven, and you can’t remember how, using your penis to help you can be very effective. My penis is as big as two regular penises, so I count it as two, meaning I can count to twelve without using my brain too much. When my cock gets hard, it often drains all the blood from my brain anyway, making it difficult to count.

But maybe that’s too personal. Maybe you didn’t want to know all about my thick, meaty cock and how I don’t know how to count too well. I apologize.

I think there is a band called “Finger Eleven”. I don’t keep up on the pop music too much, because of how it sucks and all, but I assume their band name is a slang term for penis. And, since popular musicians get hot-and-cold running pussy on tap, it’s really kind of an appropriate name. My favorite name for a band was “Moist”. Talk about not hiding what you’re into. “Hey, ladies. Our music makes your pussy wet. Let’s fuck.” Is what they’re really saying. I should point out that I’m not against all pop music, just the stuff that’s based on image and dancing and videos and hype. I’ll take music based on the music, thanks.

Don’t you think it’s strange that there are so few ugly musicians? It’s like the record companies know that they’ll sell more albums if they put generic music out with a hot singer. It’s too bad. There was a sweet time in the 60s/70s when it didn’t matter how ugly the singer was, as long as the music rocked. I’m looking at you, Tom Waits.

It’s actually too bad that your eleventh finger can’t perform like your other ten fingers. The great thing about finger-fucking a woman is that you can bend your fingers up and stimulate her g-spot. Most cocks are straight when they’re hard, so hitting the g-spot with a dick is tricky. You have to use positions to make it happen. It’d be so sweet if you could use your mind to bend your dick while it was inside the pussy so that it rubbed her g-spot. Stupid evolution.

It is considered an insult to give someone the finger. It is considered amazing to give them the eleventh finger. Of course, every man’s eleventh finger is shaped differently. Don’t get discouraged if your eleventh finger isn’t as big or thick as your buddy’s or the porn stars you watch when you masturbate. Size is not important, if your woman has strong Kegels. If she thinks you’re too small, what she’s really saying is that her pussy is too loose. With a simple Kegel exercise regiment, any dick can be gripped hard by a woman’s pussy.

1. Please suck my Eleventh Finger, Selena Gomez.

2. Please sit on my Eleventh Finger, Scarlett Johansson.

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Cock

Kegel Exercises