An Irish Kiss means a slap in the face. It is based on the stereotype that Irish people are prone to fighting and physical violence. Speaking personally, I’ve only been in fistfights with six Irish people in my life, so that stereotype might be an unfair generalization. On the other hand, I’ve only met six Irish people in my whole life, so it may be that the expression is right on the money.
An Irish Kiss is usually one that a guy gets when he says something that a female doesn’t like. Coming on too strongly or asking if she’s got a sister that could join you for a threesome can result in the Irish Kiss. Play it smooth, Casanova.
Some people call punching your wife or husband and giving them a black eye the “Irish Kiss”. Based on the expression of Irish Kiss, there have been a bunch of accessory expressions based around calling something “Irish”. For example, the black eye that you give your wife is called “Irish Mascara”. She’s got “Irish Sunglasses” on if you’ve punched her twice and given her two black eyes.
If you’re ever in a bar fight, you can use an “Irish Lightsaber” to get yourself out of a jam. That’s when you use a broken bottle or snapped pool cue like a Star Wars lightsaber. If you want to learn a specialized self-defense system, you might like “Irish Karate”. That’s when you kick someone when they’re down.
Of course, not all “Irish” activities involve violence. Some involve their love for drinking. An “Irish Seven Course Dinner” is another way of saying a six-pack of beer and a sandwich.
Then there is the “Irish curse”. That’s what you call a small penis. Yes, Irish men have reputedly small penises. Personally, I don’t think any penis is too small. Maybe it’s just that Irish women have the loosest vaginas. Tighten those Kegels, lassie, and you can grip any sized cock tight.
Kissing itself is a peculiar thing that humans do. Some people think it’s an evolution from when our ancestors fed each other in direct mouth-to-mouth regurgitation. Other people think it’s because the mouth and vagina look a lot alike, and everybody loves kissing pussy.
The health benefits of kissing are actually pretty cool. Burns calories, reduces stress, and makes you live longer! So, if you’re in that part of a long-term relationship where you’re not kissing very much anymore, try getting back into it. I know it seems like a waste of time, since you know you’re going to get laid anyway, but like I said – it’s good for ya.
Plus, it might rekindle some old sense-memories from when you actually found each other attractive and bearable! Bonus!
1. When Roddy came home drunk on his wedding anniversary after spending the night alone at the local strip club, his wife gave him a big Irish Kiss.
2. I stared too long at a woman’s tits at the bar, so she gave me an Irish Kiss.
RELATED TERMS: