Intercourse: In the good old days of blacksmiths and horse drawn carriages, Intercourse simply referred to “copulation” or penetration of the vagina by a penis. Today, however, in the world of sexual fetishes, internet porn, and gay marriage, the term “intercourse” could mean just about anything. Usually called “fucking” or “getting laid,” intercourse can occur between a man and woman, two males, two females, midgets, a donkey and a wrestler, twin sisters, or a variety individuals. The minimum amount of people or animals required for intercourse is two, but the maximum is indefinite, as seen in college dorm rooms and xxx-rated wrestling rings across America.
Not only can intercourse involve multiple people, but it has also come to include a variety of styles and positions. The old faithful that got most of the baby boomers through the end of the Cold War, was “missionary style,” where the woman lies on her back dejectedly while the man crawls on top of her and shoves his dick inside her. Of course, after the sexual revolution and the purchasing of publishing rights of the Kama Sutra by Chapters/Indigo, most couples can now agree that missionary style is boring (unless you’re both really drunk, then it’s absolutely necessary). More common positions include cowgirl style and reverse cowgirl style, positions in which the woman is on top and in more control, often leading to quicker climaxes for women. Unfortunately, although this position is visually stimulating for the male, it often feels slightly less sensitive on the penis, especially if the man happens to be wearing one of those penis-shrinking, ball-choking pieces of latex called “condoms.”
Perhaps the most popular position of intercourse among college girls, strippers, gay men, and the homeless, is “doggie style;” in which the man stands, sits, or lies down behind the targeted ass or vagina, and fucks them from behind (mimicking canine sex). Of course, there are hundreds of more positions than these four, but these are generally the most common. Along with multiple positions for intercourse, there are also a plethora of styles, themes, and fetishes one can include during sex, including rape fantasies, S&M, infantalism, role playing, and even the rare yet seductive, “granny fanny;” in which the male begs his female partner to wear the hugest, most hideous granny panties she could possibly find, and feeds him milk and cookies directly before copulation.
For more information regarding intercourse, or for a complete list in alphabetical order of all the things one might consider to be intercourse, please refer to orgasm.com and the sexual dikipedia.
1. Steve swung by the sex shop after work and picked up some barbed wire, handcuffs, beef jerky, granny panties, and a giant rubber dildo before going home. Tonight, he was going to have intercourse with his wife.
2. When Bill Clinton originally denied having sex with Monica Lewinsky, it is because he didn’t understand the term “intercourse.” Once he was told that sexual intercourse included anal sex and infantalism, he quickly admitted his guilt.
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