This is a phrase used to describe a woman who meets an attractiveness threshold above which you can easily forgive minor transgressions such as eating crackers and leaving the inevitable crumbs in your bed. Basically, the hotter she is the more you’re willing to forgive her for things. In my relationship, this includes things such as putting the toilet paper on the roll ‘the right way’ and shaking out the sheets every night while making the bed so that any crumbs or bits of litter that the cat may have tracked onto the bed will be shaken out.
Of course if she’s not that attractive, you’re going to be more strict about the eating crackers (or toast, or chips, or really anything that could leave crumbs) in bed. You might also insist on more and/or longer blow jobs. Hot girls can eat just about anything in bed that they want to. They can go to town on a huge bucket of hot wings and get the sheets all slimy and smeared with red sauce and you wouldn’t care.
It doesn’t seem to matter how hot I am, my boyfriend will never let me eat crackers in bed. I could come to bed wearing the sexiest laciest lingerie or encased in leather with a blindfold on and he’d send me to the kitchen if I wanted to eat anything. It kind of pisses me off. I mean, I do my part, I keep myself looking good for him. I go to the gym and I work on building my muscles and toning my body. I wear thongs all the fucking time. I give him mad blow jobs. All I want to do is eat some fucking cracker in bed, yo. I swear, that shouldn’t be too much to ask. Especially with all the sex he gets out of the deal.
1. I met this hottie the other day. She just moved into my building and I ran into her in the lobby when she was picking up her mail. Damn. She’s got long curly red hair and big tits and she was wearing lululemon pants and her ass was all high and firm and I could tell she had just finished a workout because she was just a little bit sweaty. Fuck. I just wanted to fuck her. I’ve got to find a way to get her in my apartment. I wouldn’t kick her out of bed for eating crackers, that’s for sure.
2. I told my girlfriend that I wouldn’t kick her out of bed for eating crackers and she’s taken that to mean she can eat all her fucking meals in my bed. The sheets are always sticky. The other day I caught her eating a giant watermelon in my bed. She’s also getting fatter. Like every day I’ve been noticing that her ass is getting bigger. Normally I’d be into that, but pretty soon her ass is gonna take up the entire bed.
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