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What do you think of when you imagine a hot dog, or singular wiener, gliding through a hallway? You think, wow, that hallway is huge. The hot dog doesn’t even come close to touching one of the walls, let alone all three or the floor. The hallway is dark and long, maybe with a faint light at one end. It’s quiet. Once you see the hot dog fall to the ground, making spat sput noises as it bounces a few times, you know there was something wrong. The scale of these two objects just don’t match up. I really don’t know how to spell it out to you any more…
Your dick is the hot dog. Her box is the hallway. There is no sensation to you. I repeat: none. You’re barely touching the sides of her vag, it’s so big. You try for one side but the rest of your cock actually gets cold. You push it up to the top or bottom. It’s like masturbating with a hook instead of your hand – one side at a time. And just as cold and clammy.
Women can have hallways as boxes for several reasons. Having given birth is one of them. This is the most legitimate excuse. If your baby-mama pops one out, and it’s for sure yours, you’ll have to suck it up and plough some air for a while. Either that or pay child support. Grin and bear it or take a hike, it’s your call. She may bounce back eventually.
Or the woman can just be a whore and has had so many huge cocks in her, she’s a perma-tunnel. Chunnel, even. Go hard and fast and you may get enough speed and friction to have a decent time.
A chick can just be born with a large vagina. It’s possible. Other things are genetic – hair colour, tit size, why not vag girth? It’s sad but true. Just because you were born with a monster dick doesn’t mean you should forget how lucky as shit you are. Be compassionate and respectful and tap that if you can. If she’s super hot, maybe she’ll find an NBA player huge enough to satisfy them both. There would be some sizing compatibility that couldn’t be met by any other. Good for him, huh?
If you come across the scenario of having your hotdog in a hallway, there are a few things you can do to accommodate the situation. What do you do if you buy an actual hot dog from a street vendor and the bun is huge and the wiener is tiny? You load it up. Ketchup, mustard, relish, onions, fried onions, jalapenos, hot peppers… anything to beef that bite up. Same applies to putting your metaphorical hot dog down a hallway. Get as much girth as you can. Condoms even. Go in sober if you have to. And for the love of god, make sure you’re as big as you can get before going in head first. It may be your saving grace.
1. See that chick? I did her last night and she was so big that it was like a hotdog in a hallway.
2. My buddy got her home and told her it was like a hotdog in a hallway. She bolted and never called again.
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