Homoblivious refers to a person who doesn’t have the ability to recognize homosexuals as homosexuals; in other words, a lack of gaydar. This happens less and less these days as people are becoming educated and are less in denial about queers being out and living proud. Plenty of people were homoblivious in the past and that was, at least in part, because people didn’t want to acknowledge that gay people were out and living their lives and having partners and families and decent jobs.
The gaydar became a popular phenomenon and it became a bit of a game, to try to guess who was gay and who wasn’t. Stereotypes for fags and dykes grew as people tried to pinpoint what signs and characteristics gays and lesbians had that ‘gave them away’. People were trying to decide if someone’s lisp was overly defined or if another person’s hand gestures were too flamboyant. Women with short hair were deemed ‘dykey’.
Then came all the TV shows with out gay characters. Will and Grace. My So-Called Life. Queer as Folk. The L Word. Six Feet Under. Sugar Rush. Glee. Modern Family.
And then came the out gay celebrities. Ellen Degeneres. Portia de Rossi. Neil Patrick Harris. Jodie Foster. Elton John. KD Lang. Jane Lynch.
So at this point, while you obviously can’t tell just by looking at a person if they’re straight or queer or somewhere in between, but since more people are living their lives out of the closet, most of the time you don’t have to guess. People are much more open about their sexuality and society is beginning to show more acceptance. We have far to go, but we are moving forward.
1. My dad had no idea I was gay, the whole time I was growing up. It took him catching me fucking my third boyfriend on the desk in his study for him to finally get it, and even then he was hoping it was ‘just a phase’. I had to be all, ‘Dad, I’m thirty-four and this is the third boyfriend I’ve brought home for thanksgiving. We have sex. That’s what it means to have a boyfriend.’ and he was like, ‘well son, I always thought these boys you brought home for visits were just friends who happened to be boys.’ Oh my god Dad. Could you be any more homoblivious?
2. My boyfriend is totally homoblivious. He can never tell when men are hitting on him; he just assumes all these ‘straight guys’ want to be his ‘friend’. Last weekend we went to a dinner party and one of the dudes there was so obviously gay and so obviously hitting on my boyfriend. He even went so far as to feed my boyfriend grapes. At the end of the night my boy was all ‘wow, that Anthony guy was really nice. We should totally have him and his girlfriend over for a games night.’ Really? REALLY? Jesus GAY Christ, how fucking naive can you get?
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Gaydar