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Making it to Home Base means having sex. Getting laid is also known as a home run. It is a sex/baseball metaphor, and one that works well with the first base, second base, (etc.) metaphors. However, there are some baseball terms that don’t have a sexual meaning associated with them yet. I’d like to propose some here. Feel free to begin incorporating them into your chit-chat immediately.
Bunt: When you do something to help someone else get to home base. Lending a condom, making yourself scarce, being a wingman, etc.
Inside the Park Home Run: When you fuck inside a stadium somewhere.
Clean-up Hitter: The guy who takes the last girl at the bar home to fuck.
Negro Leagues: Never mind. Don’t want to sound racist. (But it would have to do with interracial gangbanging.)
Extra Innings: Using Viagra and cocaine and fucking all night.
Grand Slam: Paying a thousand dollars to fuck a high-quality whore.
Ground Ball: S&M move where a Dom squishes testicles with her feet.
Heavy Hitter: Fat guy fucking a skinny chick.
Late Innings: Fucking a woman on her period.
Leadoff Hitter: The first man to fuck a chick during a gangbang.
On Deck: The person you’ve established will get to fuck you after you dump your current bf/gf.
Rally Cap: A condom with desensitizing cream to make you last longer in bed.
Screwball: Popping one ball in a woman’s ass, and one in her pussy simultaneously.
Swing and a Miss: Blindly trying to stuff your cock in her pussy, and it goes in her asshole. Or vise versa.
Backstop: When you try to fuck a woman’s ass, and she puts her hand in front of her anus.
Balk: Putting your balls and your cock in a woman’s pussy at the same time.
Block the Plate: When a woman won’t let you fuck her unless you bowl her over, almost knocking her out.
Box Score: How much pussy you tagged in your life.
Call Your Shot: Telling a woman where your cum will squirt, and then hitting that spot exactly.
Perfect Game: To seduce, fuck, and quit a woman, but leave her happy in every way.
Corked Bat: Using Viagra.
Crowd the Plate: Rub up on a hot woman in the club or in the subway.
Disabled List: The list of disabled women you’d fuck. (like that hot one-legged chick Paul McCartney is with)
Dying Quail: When a drunk guy/girl you’re fucking is about to pass out and you have to cum ASAP.
Earned Run: When a chick fucks you because you put in your effort, even though she doesn’t find you attractive.
Fastball: Premature ejaculation.
Gold Glove: A tight pussy.
Pitcher’s Duel: In a gay threesome, the two pitchers fight to be the better cocksman.
Player to Be Named Later: Fucking a woman and giving her a fake name and number.
Power Pitcher: A strong gay man that fucks hard.
Squeeze Play: When a woman squeezes your balls while she blows you.
Now, let’s play ball!
1. Mom said she let dad get to home base on their first date.
2. After getting to home base, Dave hit the showers.
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