Click To Enlarge
A hard-on is an erect penis. Usually. This could be (and in most cases, is) a man’s penile erection, but sometimes the term ‘hard-on’ is used to articulate a Tranny’s package, a chick with a dick, a dyke who’s packing, or a hot femme who wants to have a hard fake cock strapped to her so she can fuck her girlfriend. These days, anyone can have a dick. And really, everyone should. They’re great fun.
Hard-on’s start off as being completely unpredictable during that lovely awkward time known as puberty. Teenage boys (and some baby dykes) will pop a stiff one at a moments notice; a slight showing of lower back as their friend’s mom reaches up to grab a box of cereal, Ms. Cohen’s cleavage when she leans over to correct your math homework, a breeze, that first bite of a brownie, gripping the stick shift for the first time, the vibrations of the washing machine, etc. As adults, most dudes have learned to train their hard-ons to come and go when need be. To come when someone’s sitting on your dick and to go when you have to do a lecture on the proper use of Viagra to your pharmaceutical students.
In that mid-stage of a dude’s life, your hard on becomes more manageable and therefore, less angst-ridden. You can usually control it instead of it controlling you. Unfortunately, if you’re stressed from work or home life or finances or just the inevitability of your own death looming over you as you stand in front of the mirror examining every grey hair you find in your beard in a magnifying glass and noticing, without question, that your wife’s commentary on your receding hairline is no longer just her cruel sense of humour, you may not be able to keep your penis erect or ‘hard’. This can make you feel less like a man. Don’t let it get you down. Junk is junk. It’ll start working again, I promise you. In the meantime, there’s porn to get you going, fantasizing about fucking other women and, of course, Viagra. Ahh Viagra, that little blue pill that could.
In most situations, hard ons are welcome. But for those pesky situations where they’re considered awkward or socially inappropriate (say, a job interview, perhaps, or your girlfriend’s twin sister’s engagement party), don’t panic. The world has a right to know that your junk works and is ready to go in any occasion! Besides, the employer interviewing you might just be feeling particularly ‘hard up’ that day, and could very well welcome the distraction.
1. Sarah loved the feeling of Joe’s hard-on pressing up against her while they kissed. If only she wasn’t Catholic. Oh well. At least there was anal to fall back on.
2. Rachel knew that her girlfriend Amy wanted a chick with a huge package. She made sure she purchased the biggest strap-on dildo she could find and Amy was more than satisfied when she gripped Rachel’s hard-on through her jeans.
RELATED TERMS: