A gold digger is a girl (or woman) that is only with a man because she wants his money. Usually the man in this case is older, like at least forty-five or fifty, and he has both money and power. He’s probably a partner at a law firm or an investment banker or perhaps he’s just independently wealthy. Often the man is not particularly attractive, or if he is, he’s still old attractive, like Michael Douglas. Though I’d do Michael Douglas in a second, even if he was broke and naked on a street corner. I’ve had a thing for him since Romancing the Stone.
So a woman who is a gold digger is with this dude because of his money and because she wants that money and because hopefully he’ll die soon and leave her with a few million to play with. And while the guy is still alive, he gets to have this gorgeous woman to bring out to parties and dinners and to suck his super old cock.
If you want to be a gold digger you have to be pretty stunning. You can’t just be average looking or even ‘pretty’. You have to be a total knockout. Like Samantha from Sex and the City. There’s one episode where she starts dating this seventy-three year old dude who is so rich he owns his own island. She starts dating him and ends up getting all kinds of amazing expensive jewelry and gifts and all she has to do is fuck him every so often. The only problem is that she catches a glimpse of his saggy ass when he gets up from bed to use the washroom and it freaks her out so badly that she grabs all of her stuff and runs out of the house. I guess you have to be pretty committed to getting money and fancy gifts.
If I was a gold digger I would probably opt for plane tickets to awesome places I’ve always wanted to travel to. I like jewelry and I’ve always wished I wore it more often, but I tend to be more of an oversized t-shit and sweats kinda girl, especially when I’m jobless and homeless and living in a cardboard box like I am now. I would rather explore the world than acquire expensive clothes and diamonds. I also wouldn’t mind getting my hair highlighted every so often. And maybe some chocolate cake.
1. I knew she was a gold digger when I married her, but I just couldn’t help it. She was so perfectly gorgeous and sexy and she acted like she was so into me I couldn’t help but feel naively giddy about the whole thing. Now I’m dead and a ghost and she’s moved into my mansion and is fucking my pool boy. He’s got this muscular chest and giant strong arms. She sucks his cock every night. I could hardly convince her to even look near my junk let alone give me a tug.
2. Now I ain’t saying she a gold digger. But she ain’t messin’ with no broke niggas. – Kanye West.
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