The Glass Bottom Boat is an advanced sexual move where you put saran wrap over someone’s face and shit on it. I guess it’s not that advanced. All you need is saran wrap and some shit. Just make sure the person with the saran over their face doesn’t die from suffocation. Sure, it might be fun to fuck around with their dead body for a while, but then you have to deal with it.
It’s not as easy to hide a dead body as it might seem, and the cops are just going to ask you a lot of personal questions. So, play it safe. Make sure the saran wrap is thin enough so that if the person needs to quickly poke a hole in it to breathe, they can.
Scat play is all about power. When you shit a turd onto someone’s face, you’re really saying something without saying anything at all. What you’re saying is, “You’re my toilet. I think so little of you that I’m going to put the foulest thing that I can create onto your face. And you’re going to take it all, bitch. I had Taco Bell for lunch, so this shit ain’t going to be solid. Now, get on the floor.”
The thing is, the sub loves it! It’s a funny concept that seems counter-intuitive, but the people to whom things like the glass bottom boat are done to, are turned on by being controlled. They feel a sense of safety in being controlled, and feeling safe for some people is very rare. They’ll take it in whatever form they can, even if it’s watching a big shit coming out of a hairy asshole, and landing on their face.
Bless them all.
There is a variation that involves two women and a man, called the Glass Bottom Blumpkin. Basically, it is a combination move where the man gets a blowjob from one woman while shitting onto another woman’s face. I myself have tried this move a few times, and I must say, it’s magical. I like to try to time my orgasm with the shitting, which is amazing. I usually keep all scat play in the bathtub, for easy clean up. You don’t want to do this kind of thing on your new couch.
The glass bottom boat is not something to surprise your lover with. If they suddenly wake up and find that their face has been covered with saran wrap, and you’re squatting over them in the middle of a shit, they might react with anger. Talk about it first in an adult manner. If they start calling you a “sicko” and “perverted”, drop the subject and tell them that you were just kidding. Then, get one last good, hard fuck in, and dump their puritan ass.
Find yourself someone as kinky as you. They’re out there, you perverted sicko.
1. Dave gave Steve a Glass Bottom Boat while they were tripping on LSD. It got weird.
2. Selena Gomez gives the Glass Bottom Boat to Justin Bieber.
RELATED TERMS: