GILF stands for Grandmother I’d Like to Fuck.
Now that we all know that, let’s chat about grandmothers for a second. Do any of you know of a grandmother that you’d like to fuck? I sure as fuck don’t. But I don’t want to discriminate because I know that there are an awful lot of young grandmothers out there. One of my best friends had her first daughter at nineteen. Her daughter is turning twelve this year. Maybe she’ll get pregnant at sixteen or seventeen. That would make my friend thirty-five or thirty-six. Definitely not too old to want to fuck the shit out of. And my friend’s pretty hot too and definitely looks like she’s in her late twenties. Another friend of mine just turned forty-one this year but she has the face and body of a twenty-four year old. She doesn’t have kids so she can’t be a grandmother at this point, but she IS an aunt and could possible become a GAILF, a Great Aunt I’d Like to Fuck.
My own grandmothers are a little too much like grandmothers and are fairly old. They’re both going to be ninety in the next year. One of them had a stroke two years ago and has severe memory loss and the other one is skin and bones, can move without her walker, and smokes like a chimney. She also called me a whore once, but that’s another story. I can’t really imagine anyone wanting to fuck them. Actually, that’s not true. I think if they were both in nursing homes they could get some action. Especially the skinny one. She’s feisty. She drinks vodka and pink ladies and prefers meat and potatoes to just about any other food and she puts about a cup of half and half cream in her coffee every day and she spreads about a pound of butter on every slice of bread she eats and I’m pretty sure she should weigh about three hundred pounds at least, but she’s just about the waifiest human you’ll ever meet.
There are also cougars to keep in mind. Cougars are older women (usually in their forties and fifties) who go after younger men. Some of these women could easily be grandmothers and have kept up their hot appearance and sex appeal specifically because they’re trying to attract younger men. Actually, come to think of it, my friend who had her first daughter at nineteen, her mom is a total GILF. She hated the idea of being a grandmother so young so she made her granddaughters call her MoMo, which stood for ‘Mother’s Mother’. She is still gorgeous, doesn’t have a hint of grey, has a fabulous body and could so be on a list of people to fuck.
1. My mom had me when she was super young, so most people thought I was her little sister and lots of men hit on my grandma when she was babysitting me. They all thought she was a single mother. She was a total GILF for most dudes out there.
2. My gynecologist is a GILF.
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