A gaybie is the child of two gay parents. I’m using ‘gay’ to refer to all homos, not just gay men. So a gaybie can be an adorable little angel of two mommies or two daddies.
Let’s just face it, we’re all jealous of gay parents (unless you are one, in which case you’re probably not super jealous of yourself). They’re cool. They’re cool the way free love was cool in the 60s and heroin was cool in the 80s and using that retarded text shortcut language is cool today. When you’re a gay parent you get to dress your gorgeous little dumpling in sick little onesies that say I Heart My Two Mommies or Check Out How Hot My Gay Dads Are or My Gay Parents Are So Much Cooler Than Your Straight Parents – They’ll Be Able To Teach Me To Drive AND To Secure Myself In A Crazy Sex Swing With The Consenting Boyfriend or Girlfriend I End Up With.
They’re cool because they get to be living a semi-predictable life but no one will ever think of them as status quo because they have matching genitals. The parents, that is.
The other reason why gaybies are awesome is because they get to grow up and go to kindergarten and normalize this whole issue of gay parenting for other ignorant classmates (really, other ignorant parents who teach their poor kindergarten-aged children that gay is bad). Unfortunately that gaybie is going to have a lot to deal with in its young life. But usually, by the time gay parents have children, they’ve dealt with a lot of shit both in and outside of their relationship. They usually have more stability than most heteros and have usually been together a lot longer than the five minutes that some hetero parents are together before they conceive. Gay parents have to PLAN their families, so they tend to put a lot of thought into what they’re doing. It usually takes an ass load of time – months, sometimes years – before they have a kid of their own, and they have to be strong during those periods too. So by the time a gaybie comes into existence, their parents are usually stable and solid as rocks, both individually and together. They can handle anything that parenting throws their way because they’ve already dealt with so much shit from the world that this little button is unlikely to ever break their hearts or their spirits.
As for the rest of us…while, we only wish we could be gay parents and have delightful little gaybies happily ever after forever and ever.
1. My two friends have an adorable little gaybie. She’s so cute and looks just like mama and that weird dude her mama went to high school with who probably still secretly wants to get with her.
2. If I was a gaybie, I’d rock Gay Pride like nobodies business. I’d be cuter than all the tiny dogs in their teeny rainbow sweaters and booties.
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