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To flash someone means to quickly reveal your nude body to them.
It should not be confused with mooning, which is the act of showing your ass to someone you wish to insult or make laugh. It should also not be confused with streaking, which is a prolonged act of nakedness during which you run around and try to get as many people as possible to see your nude body.
Flashing can be one of the greatest things to happen to a young man. I remember when I was thirteen years old, and my family went to New Orleans for Mardi Gras. This was before the internet had really exploded, so access to any pictures of naked women was really limited for me. My main source of erotic material was the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated I stole from my dentist’s waiting room. God protect and keep Elle Macpherson, now and forever!
Anyway, I was walking down the main street and my dad gave me a bunch of plastic beaded necklaces. I asked him why, and he told me to give a few to any women I thought were pretty. I didn’t understand, but as I passed a pretty blonde I gave her a couple. She takes them, smiles at me, and then lifts up her shirt to flash me her fantastic big tits. My eyes popped out of my head and I got an immediate raging stiffy.
Dad couldn’t have been prouder.
Suffice to say, I still remember the boobs of every single lady that flashed me that night. In fact, I still masturbate to the memory of a particular brunette who had some world-class tits with perfect puffy nipples. I never got your name, Miss, but you’ll always be a big part of my wack-odex. Thank you!
Unfortunately, flashing can also be a bad thing. I was taking a city bus with my girlfriend one night, and we were on our way back to my place for our first sexual encounter together. We had fooled around a few times, but she had made it clear that this night I was going to get some sex. Sitting across from us is an old, weird, ugly old man in a trench coat. When he gets up to get off the bus, he opens his coat and flashes us.
Old man dong is never a good thing. And his balls were literally a foot below his cock.
He smiles a creepy smile and then gets off the bus, leaving us both in shock. I started laughing because it was funny to me, but my girlfriend was mortified. Whatever horniness and mojo we had built up immediately evaporated for her. Needless to say, I didn’t get any action that night. Really painful blue balls.
Damn you, Old Man!
On a positive note, she did let me fuck her the next day.
1. I was surprised when I learned that Shakespeare and his wife met when he got high on magic mushrooms and gave a quick flash to her while she was having a picnic in the park. She said it was love at first sight. Apparently Will was packin’ some king-sized man-meat.
2. Flash! Ah-ahhh! Savior of the universe!
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