The Flaming Amazon is an advanced sexual maneuver that is not meant for beginners. Just when you are about to cum, pull your cock out and light the girl’s pubes on fire. Then, extinguish the flames with your exploding cock’s jizz.
Sound easy? It’s not. Especially if the woman is a red head. A real red head’s pubes always look like they’re on fire. You’d go crazy wondering if you’d extinguished the fire, and end up squeezing your dick too hard trying to get more semen out to make sure the flames are out. Don’t risk injury. Safety first, amigo.
This is not a move to pull on an unsuspecting woman, although the faces she’d make would be priceless. No. You want her to be involved from the get-go. Have her standing by with a can of shaving cream. That way, if you don’t extinguish the flames with your cum, she can finish the job with the shaving cream. Once the flames are out, she can then proceed to jump in the bath and shave the charred remnants of her bush. Now she’s got a sexy bald pussy for your licking and dicking pleasure.
The real trick is lighting the pubes. Generally speaking, the entire bush wouldn’t necessarily all go up when you put a flame to it. Whatever you do, DO NOT add any sort of accelerant like gasoline or rocket fuel. She’ll end up in the burn ward, your house will most likely end up in cinders, and you’ll spend a good chunk of the next twenty years in jail. Not worth it. No – keep it natural.
Actually, I suppose if you were dating a woman that could have squirting orgasms, then she could perform the Flaming Amazon on you. It would need a different name, since Amazons were a mythic race of women only. Call it the Flaming Moe. Anyway, if you’ve ever been with a squirter, you know that they can really deliver a lot of ejaculate at times. Watch a Cytherea video to see what I mean. That girl could put out a goddam tire fire if someone would just fuck her beside one.
Before you attempt the Flaming Amazon, I suggest practicing. Before you start masturbating, light a candle on the table beside you. See if you can extinguish that with your semen when you cum. When you’ve mastered that, next time try two candles. When you can extinguish ten candles with one load, you might be ready. Again, always have a real fire extinguisher and a bucket of sand ready in case things go wrong.
If nothing goes wrong, you can always pour the bucket of sand into your neighbors’ gas tank in their car. Fucking asshole won’t trim his hedges? See how he likes the repair bill on a sand-filled gas tank. Just kidding. Odds are that you’ll fill his tank up with sand on the night he tries the Flaming Amazon with his wife. It all goes wrong, and he tries to rush her to the hospital but his car won’t start because of the sand. She dies. Now you’re in big trouble. Untidy hedges aren’t worth a prison stretch.
1. Barry promised his girlfriend a hot date. She got the Flaming Amazon.
2. Superman used his heat vision to give Wonder Woman the Flaming Amazon.
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