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I’m not sure why I was assigned “Flaccid” to define, but I’m going to assume it’s not because my girlfriend said something about my VERY occasional performance problems at the Dickipedia Christmas Party last year. She was joking if she said anything, everyone!
Anyway, flaccid means soft and limp. It usually refers to a cock that is not stiff, but can also refer to a woman’s clitoris in the non-engorged state. Both the penis and clitoris fill with blood when properly aroused, and then they move from the flaccid state to an erect state. At this point, the fun begins.
Being flaccid is the normal resting condition of the penis. However, when young men are going through puberty, sometimes being erect is the normal condition of the penis. Especially if you’ve got a hot math teacher with big tits.
Being flaccid can be somewhat distressing during sexual situations in which an erect penis would be much handier. Reasons for this can range from fear, to having whiskey-dick, or her being just too ugly to get it up for. In the case of her not being hot enough to get you hard, you can always put some porn on and watch it while you nail her doggy style. Works like a charm.
Another solution for being flaccid when you want a boner is the wonderful assortment of erection pills you can get nowadays. Products like Viagara, Cialis, and Levitra all get your wood stiff. However, you should be aware of the possible side-effects of these products. These include: a happy girlfriend, smiles from strange women who see the boner in your pants, and the ability to finally go for round two in bed.
Unfortunately, the flaccid penis can be seen in much of Harvey Keitel’s film work. In perfectly good movies like the original “Bad Lieutenant” and “The Piano”, Harvey makes every man watching those movies cringe and moan as his silly little piece of man-flesh flops absurdly around the screen. Jesus, Harvey. At least trip your bush, dude.
Environment can also have an effect on the flaccidness of a penis. If you’ve seen the episode of Seinfeld that deals with shrinkage, you know about the result of a man’s cock when he has gone swimming. In general, the Little Warrior does not like it to be cold at all, and even just a frigid room temperature can make him shrink. Best to get frisky in a hot-tub if you want to score in water. Plus, the water-jets are great for anal stimulation.
1. I had twenty three shots of Jagger at the bar last night, so I couldn’t get it up for my girlfriend when we got home. I told her that if she was hotter then it wouldn’t be flaccid. She cried a lot and moved out this morning. Now I can finally call her cousin for a date.
2. Even flaccid, Jason’s cock is impressive. No wonder all the girls cream their panties when he’s around.
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