click to enlarge“Fertile” means the woman can get pregnant if you squirt your junior juice into her pussy. For many couples, being fertile is a wonderful time, during which they try to get pregnant together and experience the joy of parenthood.
For me, women being fertile have just given me headache after headache in life. Do you know how much condoms cost now-a-days?! How many times I’ve had to worry after a sex partner has missed her period? How many times I’ve had to move and change my name to avoid paying child support?
Don’t get me started.
In general, the most fertile time in a woman’s life lasts from the ages of 22 until 26; however it can last well into her old-biddy years. In fact, 3 women had a child when they were 70 years old! Who’s helping who cross the street in that mother/child dynamic? When they breastfeed, is it dusty, like powdered milk? Gross, ladies. When you turn 70, stop fucking and start knitting.
Conversely, the youngest woman to bear a child was five years old! I guess girls do mature faster than boys.
In another bizarre but true story, a girl named Mum-Zi (sounds like Mumsy) was part of Chief Akkiri’s harem in Calabar, Nigeria, and had the chief’s baby when she was 8. Mum-Zi’s daughter also gave birth very young, at 9, thus making Mum-Zi a grandmother at age 17! Crazy shit!
I have always secretly wished that I was sterile, so that I didn’t have to worry about a woman’s fertility when I was fucking her. But, since my swimmers are healthy and hot, I have to take precautions. Rubbers usually do the trick, but occasionally they break, which is a real pain in the ass. The woman has to get the morning-after pill, which is good, because then you can fuck her that night without any protection at all.
The birth control pill is great, because it usually gives a woman bigger boobs. However, it also can screw up her hormones and make her irrational, crazy, emotional, and a blubbering mess. Still, bigger boobs are almost worth it.
While some women are infertile and other women fertile, there are certain women who seem to be super-fertile. A Russian woman had 67 children! That includes 16 pairs of twins, 7 sets of triplets, and four sets of quadruplets. Before you shudder at the thought of one vagina pooping out 67 kids, I’ll bet it was easy after that fourth set of quadruplets.
Yikes.
1. “At first I didn’t believe it. That this woman, who looked as fertile as the Tennessee valley, could not bear children. But the doctor explained that her insides were a rocky place, where my seed could find no purchase.” –Raising Arizona
2. Sandy was in her fertile portion of her monthly cycle, so to be extra safe, I fucked her sister instead.
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