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Eat out, or eating out is a slang phrase describing the act performing oral sex on a woman. It is also known as: clam lapping, carpet munching, going down, eating pussy, cunnilingus, and muff diving. Now matter what you call it, it’s a vital part of any sexual relationship you have with a woman.
Here are a few tips for all you men and women out there who like to eat out. First, don’t ignore the taint. When you’re exploring her genitals, go all the way from her belly button to her shit hole. That way, when you do get to her clit, she’ll go crazy. If you spend your whole time licking her clit, it’ll get numb or over-sensitized. Explore, Magellan.
Second: consider licking her shit hole. I know there are a lot of health risks involved in giving her anus some tongue work, but there are health risks eating a fucking can of tuna. You’ve got to go for it sometimes. Just ask her to use the toilet and have an “evacuation” before you start. Get her to take a shower and really clean her ass crack thoroughly before you go down there. Trust me – she’ll love it.
Third: use your fingers and explore. While you’re licking her clit, finger fuck her pussy nice and slow. When you’re licking her pussy, finger her anus. If she’s good and horny, try the shocker while you suck on her cunt. Finger licking good! Obviously if you’ve used a finger in her asshole, clean it before you put it in her pussy. Or, if you’re not into fingering her butt, reach up and play with her tits while you eat out. Give her body multiple pleasure centers to focus on.
Lastly, hum. When you hear and feel her starting to build to her climax, suck on her clit until you have it securely in between your lips. Then press your tongue against it and start to hum really low. As she gets closer to her orgasm, increase the pitch and vibrations in your humming. The vibrations will send her into maximum overdrive.
While she’s comatose after her mind-shattering orgasm, get a glass of ice water from the kitchen. Use your finger to let single drops of cold water drip onto her clit. It’ll snap her back into reality quick, and make her energized and ready to go.
Then offer her your cock for some reciprocal oral sex.
1. Iggy refused to eat out his girlfriend Jan because her pussy smelled and tasted terrible. He didn’t want to hurt her feelings by telling her the truth, so he lied and said that he was allergic to pussy juice. One day Jan started to douche regularly and Iggy wanted to start eating her out. When he ventured below to lick her pussy, she asked him about his allergy. He said, “You know what I’m really allergic too? All these questions.” She got the message.
2. Watching lesbians eat each other out in a sixty nine was always Mark’s favorite kind of porn. He especially liked it if the girls had bald, clean-shaved pussies. Listening to them moan together as they tongued their lover’s cunt always made him cream.
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