The Dutch Rudder is a strange sex move invented by horny farm boys in Holland who were either secretly and suppressively gay, or worked so damn much on their parents farm that they were never allowed to date any girls and get a decent handjob from time to time. It’s really too bad, since most Dutch farm girls would have absolutely incredible grip because most of them spend every morning and every evening milking cows, rolling dough, or carrying pails of water to the house. For them, giving a handjob to a 6 inch piece of semi-erect teenage meat would be no problem at all. They’d have it done before the guy could get his balls cupped and his handkerchief out to catch his load.
Now, where were we? Right, Dutch rudder. A Dutch Rudder is a fairly simple process, where one man lies back in bed next to another man, and grabs his own cock with his hand. Then, his friend grabs onto the arm and starts working it for him like the rudder on a boat, so it feels like the first guy is getting a handjob from someone else even though he’s technically the only one touching his own dick.
Similarly, the double Dutch rudder involves both men grabbing their own cocks with one hand, and grabbing the other guy’s arm with their other hand, working the forearm up and down so that both men are “technically” masturbating, yet still get the sensation that someone else is getting them off. It’s also a really great way to avoid being labeled totally gay, since the only person who is actually touching your cock is you.
Unfortunately, like all things Dutch, the term Dutch Rudder has gotten a rather negative connotation revolving around money. In the world of prostitutes, a Dutch Rudder is when a man receives a blowjob from a hooker, but once he’s finally cum and cleaned himself up, he only pays her for a handjob, and in true Dutch fashion, NEVER leaves an extra tip. In fact, this is believed to be how the first settlers from Holland greeted their Canadian counterparts; by paying the women the price of a handjob and forcing them to give them a blowjob anyway. The worst part about that particular time in history, is that those women waiting for them on the Canadian shores weren’t prostitutes. Then again, that wouldn’t be the first time European history was tainted by a little bit of rape.
1. Last time I visited my ancestors in Holland, I woke up in the guest bedroom with my two teenage cousins giving each other a Dutch Rudder in the bed next to me. It was eight in the morning! Apparently, in Holland, all the boys give each other a good wank at eight in the morning because it’s the time when they’re done milking cows and their forearms are nice and taut, giving themselves a sturdy grip.
2. It is possible for two girls to give each other a Dutch Rudder, but it’s a lot messier, that’s for sure.
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