Dry Humping is the act of moving together with another person as though you are having sex, but there is always at least one piece of clothing separating the genitals of the two participants. This can be as little as one person wearing their underwear, to as much as both people wearing full-on snowmobile snowsuits.
It is a great way to ensure of three things. You’re not going to get any sexually transmitted diseases, the woman is not going to get pregnant, and the man is going to get a bad case of blue balls. Obviously the first two are big benefits.
Really, the only issue is the blue balls. Blue balls are caused when all the blood goes to your prostate and testicles during sexual activity, and there is no orgasmic release. It causes either an acute or dull pain in your testicles. It is no fun at all. It’s an easy fix, because you can masturbate. Unfortunately, masturbation isn’t always a convenient thing to do.
I remember when I was sixteen and I had just started dating a cute fifteen year-old in my grade. She had fast-tracked because she was really smart. Unfortunately, her intelligence also meant she didn’t let me smooth talk her into having sex without a condom when we were hanging out at my house while my parents were at work. She did take off her top and bra and let me work on her boobs while we dry humped on my bed.
It was great…for a while. She was loving it. The pressure of my grinding in between her legs had her all hot and bothered. She probably had an orgasm or two. But after an hour of build-up and no satisfaction, my balls really started to suffer. We heard my parents come home, so we ran downstairs and acted like we were just watching television all afternoon. They bought it.
I was in agony as they started making dinner. I couldn’t just go up and masturbate, because I was still entertaining my girlfriend. So, I had to sit there in pain as we all had dinner together. Finally, just before dessert, I couldn’t take it anymore. I excused myself and went to the bathroom. Back then I didn’t have the internet or any porn images to whack to, so I grabbed one of the National Geographics beside the toilet. There weren’t any naked tribal women, unfortunately. So I wacked off to a mother orangutan with floppy, orange, deflated tits. It took a little longer (around 40 seconds), but it did the trick.
Hey, I was sixteen and super horny. I probably could have cum just staring at the smiling chick on the toothpaste tube.
Anyway, there are pros and cons to dry humping, obviously. But now, armed with this wisdom, you can avoid the dangers I fell prey to. And so my job is complete.
1. I would love Dry Humping with Sophia Vergara because of her huge tits.
2. It can get uncomfortable for men dry humping in tight jeans.
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