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Using a Douche is a method of cleaning the vagina by introducing a stream of water using a nozzle and a douche-bag, a rubber bulb or sack which contains the fluid. It is handy if y you’ve got a smooch full of crud you don’t want up there, like sperms, bees, deviled eggs, a reggae band, and feelings of shame over faking your last three thousand orgasms. Cleanse it out, and start fresh, baby.
Douche is also being used more and more these days as a derogatory name to call someone. Actually, what people call each other is a douche bag. I always thought it was kind of silly to call someone a douche bag, since the douche bag is actually the sterile and clean pouch filled with cleaning fluid. If you’re going to call someone a bad name, call them the douche nozzle. That’s the thing that gets all gross and covered with pussy junk. We’ll see if it catches on.
Douching is something that is not too be done in excess. The chemicals in the douche can be harmful if used too much. And, unless you’re taking a lot of cum loads up there all the time, you shouldn’t worry about douching a lot. Ask your man, or lesbian lover, if your smooch stinks. If it does, take a shower. If it still does, then douche. Remember, though, that a pussy is supposed to smell a little. That’s why they call it the tuna taco.
Richard Pryor talks about his grandmother using a big hot water bottle as a douche bag when he was young. Apparently when he was bad, she’d pull the cord out of the bottle and whip him with it. Getting flogged with your grandma’s douching cord. I’m glad he turned that sort of child abuse into comedy, and not serial killing. RIP Richard!
1. Tonya was defecting to the United States from Soviet Russia during the height of the cold war. She knew that the KGB was following her, and monitoring her because of her knowledge about how Khrushchev’s eyebrows were fake. Apparently someone in the Pullet Bureau thought it would intimidate the West if he had big, bushy eyebrows. Anyway, she hid the microfilm with pictures of Khrushchev with his natural eyebrows, as well as a few sandwiches for the trip up her pussy. After she made it to Florida and was debriefed (literally and figuratively) by the CIA, she was put up in a hotel in Miami. She had given the microfilm to the authorities, and eaten the sandwiches, and now she had that “not so fresh feeling”. So, she went down to the corner store, bought herself a good douching product and brought it back to her room. She used the douche, and fell asleep in the land of the free.
2. Harry dressed up like a douche for Halloween. Most people already thought he was a douche, so it was appropriate. Kind of like if Charlie Sheen dressed up like a Meth addict.
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