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A Dillrod is slang for a vibrator or a dildo.
I remember the first time I saw my girlfriend’s dillrod collection. We had been dating for around a month, and we were hanging out at her place. She said she wanted to fool around while her roommate was at work, so I started kissing her and feeling her boobs. When it started to get really sexy, and we were getting naked, she asked if I would mind if she used a vibrator while we fucked. I told her I didn’t care if she wanted to do a Sudoku, just as long as she was going to let me have sex with her.
She reaches over and opens her top dresser drawer. I look inside, and it is FULL of every manner of vibrator and sex toy you can think of. HUGE vibrators, small vibrators, nipple clamps, whips, blindfolds, handcuffs, butt plugs, strap-ons, and a giant tube of lube. My jaw hits the floor and I just stare at her. She sees my reaction and smiles, saying “You pick something.” I look through it all and pull out a strange looking vibrator that has a remote control.
She tells me to lie on my back and use the remote on her while I ass fuck her. She slides the vibrator into her pussy and my cock into her asshole. She gets really loud and talks dirty to me as she rides. When I can tell she’s climbing towards her orgasm because her moaning is getting epic, I turn the vibrations on her dillrod slowly higher and higher, until she’s screaming with ecstasy and squirting all over me.
The moral of the story is this, guys: don’t be intimidated or jealous of your lady’s dillrod. INCORPORATE it into your sex life with her.
*note: her roommate had called in sick for work and heard everything.
1. Wendy was a gorgeous young woman, so when her boyfriend George left to join the Occupy Wall Street protests, he was worried that she would fool around on him while he was gone. In case she got horny, he gave her a gift certificate to the local sex toy shop. She went in and bought a vibrator that was two feet long, and bendable. With her new dillrod, she was satisfied every night, and a faithful girlfriend to civic-minded George. George met and fucked a half-dozen hippy chicks while he was at the protest. God bless free love.
2. Suzanne’s dillrod needed batteries, so she used the ones from the smoke detector. That night she died from smoke inhalation, as a result of a fire that started when she forgot to turn of her marijuana vaporizer. When fire-fighters put out the blaze, they found over three thousand naked paintings of Emmanuel Lewis, Suzanne’s favorite actor. When approached for comment by the media, Mr. Lewis expressed his condolences for Suzanne’s family, and relief now that his creepiest fan was dead.
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