A method of fellatio in which the entire penis is taken into the mouth and throat. The performer of this little trick must learn to relax her throat muscles in order to avoid triggering a gag reflex. Someone highly adept at the deep throat technique should be able to take a large dick into her mouth, past her epiglottis, and into her esophagus, and then, with expert muscle control, allow the peristaltic reflexes of her throat to completely massage the entire shaft of the cock. Quite frankly, this is heaven for penises.

The technique gets its name from a 1972 pornographic film starring Linda Lovelace. Deep Throat tells the story of the sexually frustrated Lovelace, who seems to be unable to achieve an orgasm. Her friend Helen tries to help her by bringing her to an orgy, but to no avail. It is then that Lovelace seeks the help of a physician named Dr. Young, played by porn legend Harry Reems, to find a medical solution.

The doctor discovers that Lovelace’s clitoris is actually located in her throat, and he helps her to discover her ability to achieve orgasm by performing an especially penetrative form of fellatio known as “deep throat.” Able to achieve orgasm for the first time and utterly cockstruck, Lovelace asks the Doctor to marry her, but instead he offers her a job sucking the dicks of his sexually frustrated patients, an arrangement that will afford her the opportunity to achieve orgasm regularly. The doctor documents Lovelace’s sexual progress in her new job while he repeatedly fucks the brains out of his slutty cum dumpster of a nurse, played by Thora Birch’s hoebag mom Carol Connors. Yes that’s right. Thora Birch’s mom.

The film quickly achieved cult status, enjoying a popularity and notoriety that no pornographic film ever had before. It was so entrenched in the popular imagination of the day that when Washington Post managing editor Howard Simons needed a pseudonym for the informant in the Watergate scandal, he chose to call the anonymous whistleblower “Deep Throat.”

DID YOU KNOW? The parents of actress Thora Birch met on the set of the film Deep Throat? It’s true. As you already know, Thora’s skanky slapper of a mom played the doctor’s slag nurse in the film (no doubt a real stretch of her acting abilities), but Thora’s perverted horndog father Jack Birch, credited as Michael Powers, basically plays himself as a sweaty-faced sexual deviant, known only as #12, in the orgy scene. No wonder these two upstanding citizens signed a waiver allowing their young daughter to show off her creamy pillow tits in the movie American Beauty when she was only 16 years old. We wonder if Thora ever does a Google image search of her mom’s name with the safety filters off. We’re sure it would make quite the family photo album.

1. I’m looking forward to my date with Thora Birch* tonight. I heard she learned how to Deep Throat cocks from her floozy chickenhead strumpet mother. After she sucks my wang chung tonight, I’m gonna goo-goosh on her ginormous fun-bags, and every body will have fun tonight.

2. “Deep Throat did serve the public interest by providing the guidance and information to us.”— journalist Bob Woodward, probably discussing how the film Deep Throat resulted in better blowjobs for an entire nation. We’re pretty sure, anyway.

DISCLAIMER: Hey Thora, we kid. We kid because we love. Thanks for being a good sport. When your parents are porn stars, you know you’re going to get a little ribbing, and not just the kind that comes on condoms. And seriously, we really do think you’re way hot, so if you’re ever up for that date, just get in touch with our offices and ask for me by my codename: Lester Burnham.

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