Slapping someone in the face with your dick. Named after the actor Tony Danza, because he’s the boss, and the boss does what he wants. Eh, oh, eh!

But seriously, folks, if you want to know the truth of it, the term is actually derived from the 1980 pornographic film Insatiable starring Marilyn Chambers. Chambers plays Sandra, a wealthy heiress, who in one scene is slapped repeatedly in the face with the penis of the man who takes her virginity. The character doing the slapping is Nick the Gardner, portrayed by veteran porn actor David Morris, who, it turns out, looked an awful lot like Tony Danza back in 1980, so much so that people thought he really was Tony Danza.

Okay, so maybe it should have been called the David Morris Slap. Dave Morris was a pioneer in slapping women in the face with his dick, a real groundbreaker, a trailblazer — hell, some might even call him a visionary — and he should be recognized as such. But you can’t turn back the tide. People have been calling it the Danza Slap for long, and so many false stories about the origin of the term have been told and told again, it would be impossible to correct the trend now. So the next time you’re slapping your lady in the face with your dick, maybe you’ll silently remember poor Dave Morris, whose contributions to our sexual enjoyment have been forgotten by most, but we know you’ll be shouting, “WHO’S THE BOSS, BITCH? WHO’S THE BOSS?”

1. I need your advice because I’m uncertain of the etiquette. Is it preferable to give Marina the Danza Slap before I cum in her eye, or just after?

2. Is it weird that I fantasize about giving Alyssa Milano the Danza Slap? No? I didn’t think so.

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