The crazy/hot scale is the scale that determines if a girl is too crazy to date. This scale was invented by Barney Stinson during an episode of How I Met Your Mother. The way it works is that you can date a crazy girl, but only if she’s super hot. And you can only continue dating her when she gets crazier if she also continues to get hotter. So, say you were dating a girl who checked your emails and text messages and made you call her every hour to check in. Sounds crazy, right? That would be okay, but she would basically have to look like Uma Thurman. If, while you were dating her, she went even further and lied that her dad died just to get extra attention from you, then she’d basically have to look like Uma Thurman AND get a boob job. If she looks like Scarlett Johansson she can basically do whatever the fuck she wants and you are obligated to continue dating her. Even if she kills your mother and starts fucking your father, you have to keep dating her. She looks like SCARLETT JOHANSSON. Get your shit together.
If she’s not very hot though, or even just average looking, or even kind of hot, she probably can’t get away with being too crazy. If she’s average looking she needs to get along with your friends and let you go to poker without checking in and not say a word when your best bud has his bachelor party and she knows there will be strippers there. She needs to smile and nod and kiss you and probably promise you a blow job and keep her fucking mouth shut. Of course, if she loses twenty pounds and gets botox, maybe she can start checking in on poker nights. Maybe then she can insist that you go home early with her instead of staying late at the bar with the guys. Maybe then she can demand that you go with her to her cousin’s wedding and then spend the whole time telling her that she looks hotter than the bride. And maybe, if she gets her lips and ass done and dyes her hair red or blonde, maybe then she can convince you to propose to her. But in order to accomplish any of this she has to keep on getting hotter. That’s just how it works.
1. The crazy/hot scale is really the best way to tell if it’s worth dating any woman. She can make your life hell, but only if she’s gorgeous and knows how to suck dick. And if she can cook and make delicious cupcakes with cream cheese frosting. Fuck I could use a blowjob and some cream cheese.
2. My boyfriend started dating me because I was hot, but then he dumped me because I’m crazy. He came back to me because I started having threesomes with him. Now I’ve gained a few pounds. I guess I’ll have to just start taking loads in the face.
RELATED TERMS: