Sexual interest in eating feces. So like, if you told someone to “eat shit,” they’d probably get a boner and hope you meant it literally.

Still not clear on this? We know; your brain probably won’t let you understand, so we’ll bring it closer to home. So you know how you won’t let your stupid fucking dog go down to the basement because the little turd burglar keeps snacking on the cat poop in the litter box? Yeah, so imagine that, except it’s not your stupid fucking dog that doesn’t know any better, it’s people. People who should know better. People who want to eat poop because it makes them super horny. People, we imagine, with horrendously bad breath.

1. At the snack bar for this year’s Coprophagia Convention, they announced a new menu item: The Bill O’Reilly Burger. It’s just a steaming pile of shit on a bun.

2. I started to suspect Aileen might be into coprophagia when I heard someone lapping in the toilet bowl at night, and she doesn’t own a dog.

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Coprophilia