Cold Jerky is the terrible process of suddenly and altogether stopping a perpetual masturbation habit or chronic addiction. This can apply to both a male or female addict, so long as it refers to someone who completely stops masturbating without any aid, or period of progressively cutting down.
Now, cold jerky doesn’t apply to someone who rarely masturbates, or gets laid so often that they hardly ever need to jerk themselves off. We reserve the term cold jerky to people who suffer from a severe addiction to their own hands and fingers, usually in and out of rehab centers looking for a ‘safe place,’ or hospitals and doctor’s offices because they desperately need some treatment and painkillers for their carpal tunnel syndrome.
The idea behind cold jerky was taken from the term “cold turkey,” which is used for heroin addicts and smokers, stating that the only way to truly quit an addiction is to give it up entirely, without any type of aid or substitute whatsoever. Although it works great for smokers and heroin addicts it rarely actually works for chronic jerk offs.
The biggest reason why all chronic masturbators fail is quite simple really. The leading cause of all relapses is pornography, particularly online porn. You see, the chronic masturbator thinks he is addicted to jerking off, but in reality, he’s actually just addicted to porn. So, he goes a few days without bustin a nut or choking his chicken, and decides to reward himself with just a little bit of arousal. So, he logs into his orgasm.com account, checks out his favourite categories for a quick perusal before work, and before he knows it he’s vigorously jacking off and cumming all over the keyboard of his Mac notebook. If that poor addict had simply bypassed the porno that day, he’d still be safely on the wagon. It wasn’t that he couldn’t resist jerking off, its that he couldn’t resist watching porno, and whether you’re alone or in the company of friends, if you’re watching porno there really is only one natural thing to do: masturbate.
You see, the chronic masturbator in this case just misdiagnosed their addiction, much like the smoker who thinks they are actually addicted to the act of smoking, when in reality its just the nicotine that they crave inside their blood. The smoking, much like jacking off for the porn addict, is just the vehicle to the drug of their choice.
The only other definition of the term cold jerky actually refers to a flaccid penis, and is primarily used in the gay community. If two men try to have sex and one man is flaccid and unable to perform, then the other male will tell all his friends the next day that he was just a “cold jerky,” meaning a lame and flaccid lay.
1. I’ve tried to quit masturbating five times by using prostitutes and going to the gym a lot. I finally realized the only way to quit was by going cold jerky.
2. Never try to quit smoking and masturbating at the same time. It’s about the only time going cold jerky won’t work. Once you quit smoking, you’ll have so much increased blood flow that you’ll have to start jerking off again.
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