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Sexual intercourse. This legal-sounding Latin term puts a decidedly unsexy spin on the act of love. To us, it sounds like some kind of contagious genital blister: “Ouch, I have a coitus on my ball sack.”
1. Gladys, I must say your fundament looks pulchritudinous in that frock. Perhaps I could interest you in some coitus?
2. Damn, Gladys, your booty lookin’ fine in them threads. Let’s go back to my crib for some coitus.
Coitus Interruptus: The form of birth control, also called “the withdrawl method,” in which a man pulls his penis out of his partner before ejaculating. It’s usually considered an ineffective form of birth control because of the possibility of sperm being released prior to orgasm, or because of the possibility of premature ejaculation catching the poor fellow off guard. People who practice this method of birth control are often called “parents.”
We don’t know why this has to be considered just a form of birth control. We think it can be recreational, too. Unless you’re really into cream pies, there are all kinds of other interesting places to blow your load. You can cum on your partner’s face, her tits, her feet, in her hair, or in her mouth (a personal favorite!). The possibilities are practically endless. We recommend trying them all just for fun, and if you can avoid having an ankle-biter come along to ruin your life in the process, well, consider that a bonus.
1. Unfortunately, the coitus interruptus didn’t work, and now most of the sex Paige and I have ends with childus interruptus.
2. Lacey and I practice coitus interruptus, immediately followed by ejaculatus on her faceus.
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