Cleavage is a term that barely needs defining anymore, since most of us know what it is before we enter kindergarten. However, just in case we’ve got a few Mormon viewers on here today, I’ll define the word for everyone.
Cleavage just refers to that deliciously tempting and seductive visible space or gap between a woman’s two breasts, usually popping out of her dress ever so slightly at a party, or sometimes it’s being shoved in your face while you’re chatting her up around last call at the bar. Either way, it’s a sure fire way to seduce a man. Even if a girl is absolutely hideous, she can still pick up a half decent drunk guy who gets super horny when he notices her gigantic tits and cleavage.
Perhaps the reason men go so crazy over cleavage, even from ugly girls, is because the cleavage resembles a vagina, and we immediately want to stick our penis inside that girl’s orifices and cracks. Or, perhaps its because almost all men secretly LOVE giving motorboats to fat girls, even if they aren’t the most attractive girls at the bar. We’d be willing to take one for the team any night of the week if it meant we’d get a half decent motorboat and a sloppy titty fuck out of it.
Now, for interests sake, let’s classify a few different types or categories of cleavage that one might see at a bar or party. First of all, and most alluring, is the “D Ditch.” This refers, quite obviously, to women who are sporting the giant double D breasts, creating a ditch the size of the grand canyon in between each mound of flesh. Unfortunately, unless she’s a porn star with a really good plastic surgeon, chances are if she’s got a “D ditch” she won’t be weighing in under the lightweight or welterweight category.
Next to the D ditch cleavage comes the “C cut,” which applies to the girls who have generously perky C cup sized boobs which form a perfect little slit at the top of their dress, one of the most popular forms of cleavage found in college frat parties.
Finally, we have the B cup ladies, usually seen at high school proms or female running teams, who proudly show off their “B Back” to the crowd as they sport their favourite sweater or sports bra. In other words, it usually looks like these girls have no boobs at all, just an upper back with a groove between the shoulder blades.
1. Uncle Herb never noticed his wife’s Cleavage until she put on 55 pounds after having children. It’s the only thing that actually saved their sex life, and forced him to quit his affair with the neighbor girl down the street. After all, how could a high school babysitter compare with a MILF sporting a “D Ditch?”
2. One of the best things about my wife’s cleavage is that if I buy a handful of chocolate bars and Twinkies before going to the movie theater, I can stuff them in between her breasts and no one will ever notice.
RELATED TERMS: