A cheater is someone who has sex outside a monogamous relationship.
So, that’s all you really need to know about cheaters, except for the fact that it is more than likely that you will be one someday. I’ve had friends who’ve claimed that they would ‘never ever EVER cheat’ and they’ve ended up cheating. Partly because monogamy doesn’t work for most people (though they try to contort and conform their personalities and sexual desires and identities to be monogamous), but also because people can’t handle the idea of having honest and open communication with their partner. People are afraid to be honest about how often they want to fuck other people so they just bottle it up inside and pretend that their lover or partner is their true ‘one and only’. In turn, people can’t handle the truth, because there’s this ridiculous standard to uphold in our society. Once you are partnered with someone, you are only allowed to think of that person in a sexual and loving way and no one else. So all those very natural experiences of desire and flirtation become these horrible secrets. If we feel this way about others, then we must not truly be in love.
It’s bullshit. It’s a problem. A serious cultural problem.
And we have marriage for love which is nice and all, but we also have divorce because love is a fickle thing and really has little to do with the day-to-day management, maintenance, and upkeep of a relationship. And we’re all so afraid of ourselves, of our potential to be jealous and possessive and to learn that we all have these odd and ugly qualities that don’t make us look like very nice people. So instead of addressing those things, we create an institution that makes us feel abnormal or deviant if we try to engage in an alternative type of relationship or even try to be honest with our partner about how we really feel.
So instead, people cheat and they lie about it. It’s not like any of our cultural rules and institutions established have done anything to prevent this from happening. In all honest, cheating and divorce rates would probably go way down if people were afforded more honesty and more alternatives within their relationships. And maybe we wouldn’t carry around these unrealistic expectations of what our relationships are suppose to do for us. Because they can’t really do anything, we have to make them what we want. We have to be willing to do much self-exploration, to constantly analyze what we want and what we are asking our partners for and if it is, in fact, reasonable. And we need to ask ourselves why it is so important to us that we claim the person we’re with as our property. Because this is ultimately what we’re doing with outdated institutions. And that’s not to say marriage is innately bad. But people are clearly misinformed as to what the role of marriage is. There are plenty of people who are trying to universally define marriage, and that is not what most of us want. We don’t want to be defined by a religion that we don’t subscribe to or set of cultural beliefs that we don’t follow.
1. Don’t cheat. Be honest about what you want out of your relationship.
2. I cheated on my wife. She would’ve agreed to an open relationship if I’d only talked to her. Now we’re divorced and she’s seeing the girl I cheated on her with.
RELATED TERMS: