I think that every guy out there who has gone to college or has regular drinking buddies, has had at least one “Chad” in their life. By definition, a Chad is one of those incredibly douchey guys who is typically named Chad, and frequents bars in order to pick up chicks. However, Chads are notorious cock blockers as well, since they have absolutely no social skills and usually aren’t much to look at either. So, the entire night he’ll be following you and your friends around and jumping in at the last second every time you’re about to seal the deal with a hot chick. She’ll get so freaked out by his appearance and the way he dresses, that she’ll leave the bar and you’ll never see her again.
Chads are absolutely hideous dressers, yet the majority of guys I meet at the bar dress like Chad, minus the trucker hat I suppose. Aside from the mesh trucker hat, a Chad usually has bleach-blonde or frosted hair, with the tips of his bangs gelled and spiked up at the front. Generally, he can be seen wearing a white or light pink polo shirt with the collar flipped up, with either a fake tan or an extremely red complexion because he either drinks too much, or fails to suntan properly. He can also be seen wearing a ringer t-shirt that is two sizes too small for him, pants that are two sizes too small for him, and even goes as far as wearing a wife beater in public. The reason for these incredibly tiny sizes is so that every muscle in his body, including his average-to-small penis, looks incredibly huge jutting out of his tight-fitting clothing. On winter nights, Chads are usually sporting a light colored, button-up t-shirt over top of a white wife beater or regular under shirt.
But, all of those fashion faux pas I can forgive, if it weren’t for one unforgivable thing. He always, without fail, drinks light beer. Even if you’re at a Micro-brew Pub or an Irish pub, which serves some of the darkest, headiest ales and lagers, this douche bag Chad will still order a “Bud Light” or a “Coors Light.” Even if there was absolutely nothing lighter than a regular Moosehead, he’d refuse to drink beer and switch to vodka sodas or vodka cranberry. On top of all of that, he’s also the only guy in the bar who will dance by themselves in order to attract attention, swinging their jutting elbows from side to side as they stick their ass out and try to put their arms around the nearest girl on the dance floor.
1. I met this new guy at work and went out for a beer after our shift. I thought he was going to be cool, but he turned out to be a total Chad. When it was his turn to buy a round, he bought us a pitcher of Bud Light Lime. Who the fuck does that?
2. I swear to God, if I see one more Chad at my local drinking whole, I’m going to call in a bomb threat to the University and have them send all the students back home.
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