A Carbon Cockprint is something that a lot of middle-aged men discuss on cottage weekends after too many divorces. In scientific terms, a carbon cockprint refers to the amount of CO2 and greenhouse gases produced, or the amount of environmental damage caused by a man who is in pursuit of sexual gratification. For the most part, this simply refers to the idiocy and horniness of most men, and how far they are willing to travel just to get laid.
For example, you might have had a friend in college who NEVER went out drinking with you on the weekend at your favourite local bar in Toronto. The reason for this was because he was constantly driving back to Thunder Bay every single weekend to visit his girlfriend, just so he could get laid. Well, his carbon cockprint would be enormous simply because of all the gas he used driving his car a total of 25-30 hours every weekend just so he could have sex with the same girl he used to have sex with in high school.
Of course, it’s not only men who are whipped and easily lured by their long term girlfriends. Some men are just really horny and desperate, without many options. So, when a girl they met online who lives in Winnipeg tells him she wants to suck his cock this weekend, you’d better believe that he’s going to be hopping on the next VIA train, purchasing a return ticket from Halifax. That man’s carbon cockprint would also be huge.
In fact, racking up a massive carbon cockprint in the early days of high school and college is so common, there are actually carbon cockprint parties now that are usually hosted by men in their 40’s or 50’s who like to brag to their co-workers about how stupid they were in college and talk about the lengths they would go just to get some tail.
In case you’re wondering, there is also a female equivalent to the Carbon Cockprint, and it usually goes by two names: either the Carbon Clitprint or the Carbon Cuntprint.
For women, it is much more common to drastically increase your Carbon cuntprint over a guy that you’re in love with, rather than a man you simply want to sleep with. Women don’t even have to leave their own house to get laid, now that we have the internet and social networking sites like “Fuckbook.” There’s no way a hot girl is going to hop on a plane, spend 2000 dollars on a last minute flight across the country, and then rent a car and drive another 4 hours from the airport just to have sex. They will, however, do it for a relationship, as sitcoms like “Friends” has taught us many years ago.
1. Men these days have much larger Carbon Cockprints today than their ancestors did 150 years ago. Even if you traveled for five days straight to get a piece of tail, the amount of Methane produced by a horses ass is fairly minimal.
2. The number one leading cause of the growing hole in the ozone layer next to cow farts, is horny college dudes wreaking havoc on Mother Nature with their enormous Carbon Cockprints.
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