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Note: The Unicorn can only be done to a girl with hair at least 8 inches long.

While she is sleeping you ejaculate into the woman’s hair, aiming for the front, specifically. Then, take a small clump of her hair, at the very front and center, and pull it straight up until it’s taut. Rubbing the seminal fluid and holding the hair until it dries, she will wake up with her hair resembling that distinguishing feature of a unicorn.

Remember the silly hairstyle that Cameron Diaz had in “There’s Something About Mary” when she got cum in her hair? Same idea, except you add a little sculpting and art to the style.

Warning: Some woman may think the unicorn is hilarious, but others may find it insulting and a violation. If there is the danger that she may be upset, I suggest taking a few pictures of the unicorn with your camera phone, and getting out of there before she wakes up. After all, she could put your eye out with her horn if she’s super pissed.

For those of you with girlfriends who are very sound sleepers, or who pass out drunk a lot, you can always try to do the little unicorn as well. That’s when you encourage your woman to grow her pubes out. Then, while she’s asleep, you cum in her pubes and make a little unicorn horn down there. If you can do both unicorns on the same woman on the same night, you are truly a modern day hero.

If there was one porn star that I think would look great with the unicorn, it’s gorgeous super star Sasha Grey. She’s got the long brown hair for it. What I would do, if I ever had the opportunity to give her the unicorn, is keep some gold and silver hair glitter in my bedside table. I’d sprinkle it in with the cum while it was hardening. That way, when morning came, it would sparkle in the sunshine.

Plus, Sasha Grey is such a dirty slut, that she’d probably be into pegging me with the unicorn horn. That could be hot. I wonder if the sparkles would come off in my asshole and be a problem. Or, would I just end up with sparkly shit. Better talk to my family doctor first.

Call me, Sasha! I love your work!

1. Hercules searched far and wide for the mystical flying horse Pegasus. When he found it, he flew over to Aphrodite’s house. While her husband was down at the all-you-can-eat sushi restaurant, Hercules fucked her long and hard. She was so well-fucked that she fell asleep. Hercules thought it would be funny to masturbate into her hair and give her The Unicorn. Her husband came home, saw Aphrodite and The Unicorn, and vowed vengeance on the mighty Hercules.

2. Lisa didn’t realize that her boyfriend had given her The Unicorn until she started getting strange looks from her fellow morning joggers.

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