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A Bordello is a whore house. It is where wet dreams come true. All you need is a cock and your paycheck, and they will make all your fantasies reality. Well, maybe not the one where you’re Zeus fucking a blue whale’s blowhole. But all the other ones.
Bordellos are illegal in most cities, but there are some exceptions. In Amsterdam and Las Vegas, you can find legal bordellos. I remember my first trip to Amsterdam. I was twenty years old. I got off the train in the center of the city and went straight to a hash bar. I ordered myself a big cup of coffee and a huge hunk of hash. An hour later, I was feeling no pain. I walked down to the Red Light District (a red light in the window usually indicates prostitution), and looked in all the windows at the bordellos.
As I turned the corner at one point, I saw a group of men all staring up at a beautiful blonde whore. She was in the window of a bordello, and she looked perfect. Tall, blonde, skinny, with huge tits. She couldn’t have been more than eighteen. These guys staring at here are known as “brothel wafflers”. They are embarrassed or brainwashed by religion so they stall, humming and hawing, outside a brothel. I had no such compunctions.
I walked past them with a smile, and waved at her. She smiled back at me and motioned for me to meet her inside. I wasted no time running up the steps of the bordello.
I won’t go into details, but I’ve never been with a hotter woman in my life. And before you judge her too harshly, she told me that she was going to be able to retire when she was twenty-five. TWENTY-FIVE! I can see how fucking men for seven years and then retiring at twenty-five is a good plan. Can’t you?
Throughout history there have been bordellos, going back to 4000BC. In the 16th century, bordellos were set up by the city fathers! They forced the bordellos to close on Sundays, though. Some people think it was so that the prostitutes would go to church. I think it’s because if the brothels were open, there wouldn’t be any men in church. They’d all be fucking the prostitutes!
If you can find a quality bordello, go for it. Spending a couple hundred dollars to fuck a perfect ten is a lot better than spending a couple hundred dollars on a regular woman who may or may not give it up. Go for the sure thing. No relationship headaches. No guesswork. It can easily become an addiction, so remember: moderation. Don’t go all Charlie Sheen, unless you can afford it.
Ask if any of the whores are trained in Kabazzah Sex. You won’t regret it!
1. Every year on my birthday I treat myself to an hour of sheer bliss at a bordello.
2. Try to get a whore at the start of her shift at the bordello. You don’t want sloppy three-hundredths.
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