A boner shock refers to expressions or actions performed that cause your boner to go into ‘shock’ or return to a flaccid state. Here are my top boner shock moments:
a. My mother walking in on me and my high school girlfriend. She was eagerly sucking my dick…like SUPER eagerly. She was basically swallowing my snake whole when my mum came barging in with a load of freshly washed and folded laundry. What the balls mum, thanks a fuck.
b. My dad walking in on me and my high school girlfriend two days later, and then commenting on her technique right before he left. Dad, I’m not entirely sorry you died in that pizza dough accident two years later. My love life has dramatically improved since then.
c. My youngest sister wandering into my bedroom without my high school girlfriend or I noticing. She was so fucking quiet that she basically witnessed her brother shooting a load down his girlfriend’s throat. I didn’t know you could go into boner shock AFTER you came and your dick was already soft, but apparently the term still applies in extreme situations.
d. My youngest brother walking in on me and my high school girlfriend while she was sucking my dick. Man I miss that chick. She was constantly blowing me.
e. I was jerking off in one of the bathroom stalls in the girl’s locker room at school once when Ms. Simpson and Ms. Finnegan came in and totally started making out. This counts as a boner shock because at first I totally thought I was gonna get caught jerking off and my dick totally went soft right away. But once I heard them getting down and I could see through the crack in the door that Ms. F totally had Simpson up against the gym lockers with her arms about her head and she was totally sucking on Simpson’s perky nipples, I basically got hard and jizzed all over myself in about thirty seconds. I hardly had to jerk it at all!
f. I was having a hot dream when my three-legged cat jumped on my junk and started biting my cock. My hard-on was gone within seconds and I totally had fang marks all over my junk, like my cat was some sort of vampire cat.
g. The last time I was on a road trip, my buddy was driving and I was pretending to sleep in the back seat, but was actually jerking off into an old sock. I guess my friend was speeding and these two super hot lady cops pulled him over. My dick couldn’t decide whether it was in shock or staying hard for the ladies.
h. I was jerking off the morning of 9/11 and my boner left when I saw video footage of the twin towers. Respect.
i. I got my dick caught in a fleshlight once.
j. I was watching a youtube video of some dude getting his junk pierced. Mad boner shock.
1. Nancy Grace would give anyone boner shock.
2. I got a boner shock when I stuck my dick in an electrical socket.
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