The Bermuda Triangle is, of course, that mysterious triangle also known as the Devil’s Triangle, a region in the western part of the North Atlantic Ocean where several aircrafts and surface vessels have reportedly disappeared under mysterious circumstances. People have attributed these disappearances to paranormal activity, and the possibility of interference by extraterrestrial beings.
And then we have the pussy. The other Bermuda Triangle.
The female pubic hair and genital area is known as a mysterious region of the female body that men (and some women) claim to be indescribable and indefinable. There have been reports of disappearances within this particular Bermuda Triangle, and while the majority of those who disappear are found stumbling around like drunken sailors, trying to find a stable leg to stand on, they are forever changed.
Okay, let’s be serious. Pussies are NOT mysterious. Like, they are only in the sense that they can do awesome things like spit out babies and have eight-hour and multiple orgasms and they can swallow up cocks and cucumbers and a dude’s face if they want to. And they do. Want to, that is. And they will.
So why all the secrecy around pussies? Why are we calling them the Bermuda Triangle? I get that they mildly resemble a triangle, but nothing actually disappears inside of them (unless it’s a dude or a lady of his/her own free will, but that doesn’t count). We label them because we’re afraid. We’re afraid of the unknown. We’re afraid of the pussy.
So scientists have never been able to fully determine why some women g-spot orgasm and others don’t, why some women can multiple orgasm and others can’t (or haven’t been able to so far…don’t give up hope…after running my first ten kilometer race I had a different kind of race in the bedroom and managed to make it past ten checkpoints of my own…something about the adrenaline left from running that race in under an hour, mixed with my partner’s pleasure at seeing me all sweaty and alive, mixed with the fact that we’re weirdly happy right now, resulted in hitting that extra milestone), why some women are born with two vaginas and others aren’t (this really does happen – in rare cases, a woman will have two tiny vaginal canals and two uteruses. This pretty much makes intercourse impossible and most women need to have surgery to correct this), but shit happens. All kinds of crazy shit goes down with our bodies, male and female, and we don’t know how most of it works, so why did we decide that it’s the female genitalia that’s the big scary unknown?
Because we live in a sexist, misogynistic culture, that’s why. There you have it.
1. I’d go down on her, but I’m afraid her pussy might swallow me whole and I’ll disappear like going in to the Bermuda Triangle.
2. My cunt is the Bermuda triangle. Every time something gets near it, it mysteriously vanishes. I haven’t been able to find my husband’s tongue for weeks now. It’s getting awkward for him at work.
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