Unprotected sex. Sex without a condom. Of course, at Orgasm.com, we always want to advocate for safe sex. That way, some dumbass can’t sue us when he gets syphilis or the clap from fucking his hag landlady bareback to make up for the arrears on his rent. So let us be perfectly, legally, clear: we, Orgasm.com, do hereby advise against fucking of your hag landlady bareback to make up for the arrears on your rent.

Ha ha. We said, “arrears.” Twice.

Anyway, we know our visitors here at Orgasm.com would never engage in any bareback sexual activities unless you have been in a committed, monogamous relationship for some time, and both you and your partner have had a full screen of physician-administered STD tests. Right? Right. We also know that our elected officials would never lie to us, that girls don’t fart, and that our births were the result of Immaculate Conception.

1. It’s a special night for me and Sylvia. Tonight, I’m taking her to Bareback Mountain.

2. Thorns? How the hell did my dick get thorns? I knew I shouldn’t have fucked that gardener bareback.

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STDs