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A Baby Mama is a single mother whose offspring is that of a particular man. For example, Mary (the mother of Jesus) was God’s baby mama. God impregnated her with his divine baby batter, and she had his kid. Then God took off, leaving Mary to deal with the kid herself. It would therefore make God Jesus’ baby daddy, even though he was raised by Joseph. It’s all there in the bible.
Baby mamas are great. They don’t seem to want to try to keep you around after you fuck them, and they take care of the kids you create. That allows you to go off and fuck more women, having more illegitimate kids, and more baby mamas. The Sultan Ismail Bin Sharif had almost 900 children with hundreds of different baby mamas. He had the money to set them all up in his harem, the lucky bastards.
Other celebrities with a bunch of baby mamas include: Jack Nicholson (with 3 baby mamas), L’il Wayne (with 4 baby mamas), Clint Eastwood and Rod Stewart (both with 5 baby mamas), and “One Love” (ironic) reggae superstar Bob Marley (with 8 baby mamas). It’s not that surprising that rich and successful men have lots of children with different women. What’s surprising is that these idiots don’t get vasectomies so that they never have to worry about child support.
The day I become rich and famous I’m getting my nuts snipped. That way, no matter how much ass I get, I’ll never have to worry about making any of the women a baby mama. That means no child support, and no worries. Hit it and quit it. That’s the way I’m going to do it, and that what you should have done too, Clint Eastwood.
Not that baby mamas can’t do it all on their own. Not so. There are lots and lots of single mothers out there that have raised wonderful kids all on their own. They’re heroes in a way! There are plenty of kids with two parents that are fucking assholes. Lance Armstrong (Tour de France winner) never knew his father. Probably who he was looking for on all those long bike rides. Jay-Z and John Lennon were both raised by baby mamas, and they ascended to the top of their music genres. Of course, we have to give Jay-Z the edge on greatness, since Beyonce makes Yoko Ono look like…Yoko Ono.
1. There is a guy in South America who is purported to have impregnated a llama on a cold, lonely night. The llama had their child, but the guy took off. That makes it a baby mama llama.
2. Alicia Keys grew up being raised by a baby mama. If Alicia and I ever get together sexually, I’m going to get her to call me “Daddy” while we’re fucking. Hopefully that will help her resolve any issues she has, relating to her father’s abandonment.
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