Baby is a term of endearment used by two people who are in a committed relationship (or just two people fucking each other). Most couples use the term interchangeably. Instead of calling your partner by his or her name, you’ll say, ‘hey baby, when you’re at the store can you pick up some milk?’ or ‘baby, are your parents still coming for dinner?’ or ‘oh baby, don’t worry, your funding will come through’. It’s a sweet way to address the person you’re with. Some people find it kind of nauseating, and I can totally understand that. I don’t really know why I like it, but I do. If someone uses the term combined with the ‘girlfriend-voice’ that’s a completely different story. Not only is that totally gross, but it kind of fucks up my desire to use the term ‘baby’ with my lover. But under normal tones and regular circumstances, I think it’s lovely.
Baby is also used quite extensively in sex. It can be effective, but it can also make a person dissolve into giggles if the person saying it takes himself or herself too seriously. If they’re all ‘baby, I need to fuck you’ that’s fine. But if they’re all ‘oh baby, can I please part the lips of your vagina?’ or ‘it’s always nice to meet a new pussy. Come here baby.’ that’s creepy and nasty and kind of hilarious in its own ridiculous way.
The best example of the use of ‘baby’ is when Chris Turk is trying to write his wedding vows on Scrubs. This was his speech: Baby, you mean so much to me, that’s why you’re my baby. And yeah there were babies before you, but I promise you baby…you will be my baby forever baby. It’s pretty much the best speech of all time.
While baby can be used in a condescending way, it is usually a sign of a loving relationship. Some people don’t like using pet names at all, but for those who do, ‘baby’ is often used. The only challenge is when you and your partner decide to have an actual baby together. That can make things a bit more interesting, although people tend to have specific pet names for their children and don’t tend to call them ‘baby’. That would be weird. But also fitting.
1. Baby, I can’t wait to get you home, tear your clothes off, get you in the shower and rub my naked body all over you. Sometimes I get so hard I can barely move and I just have to have you. Then I think about the times that you’re in your hobo sweats and my baggy hockey jersey and it just makes me love you deeper and harder and more than I’ve ever loved anyone. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.
2. Sometimes I think about what would’ve happened if we’d never met. And I think that probably I would be fucking Carla right now. Damn baby, that chick is hot.
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