Posts Tagged ‘tits’

How to do Nude Beaches

Friday, September 10th, 2010

Around the world you can find nude beaches full of people whom let their freedom flag fly. A naturist is a name given to someone with a penchant for social nudity, however you may not be quite the naturist yet.

A chance to stay beachside near a clothing optional B&B can reveal some of the joys of letting go of your inhibitions. Here you’ll find some of the top tips for letting it all hang out at nudist beaches. It’s the most fun you’ll have with your clothes off besides sex.

If you want to be a bit closer to nature, or simply get rid of those tan lines you’ve got to swap the bathing suit for your birthday suit. Drop your trousers and let your wang hang. So you know for future reference, the flaunt it rule does not always apply in all cases. If you get a hard on for some nice tits beside you, its generally unacceptable to show off your new found friend woody.

You will need some confidence for this thing if you are a little skeptical of rampant exhibitionism. It may feel wild and liberated, however nudist beaches are not the best place to practice pole dancing or yoga poses. Unless you truly enjoy showing off those giant tits, or perhaps that giant cock.

If you’re lucky enough, you might find yourself sitting beside some fine young hunnies, however this is not an open invitation to hop on her right on the beach. Sex isn’t uncommon on a nudist beach, however a free porn show is not generally accepted by the large portion of people there. Just because you’re half way there, doesn’t mean you should take advantage of the situation. There is always the ocean.

Before you start to wander off the beach, pay attention to the people around you, not the entire beach may be nudist. You don’t want to end up having an awkward confrontation with beach patrol in a clothing area of the beach.

If you’ve gone so far to go nude at the beach, you’re likely feeling liberated and one with the world. If you find yourself stripping naked when the sun shines through the office window, it’s probably time you pack up and move to a commune.

The ABCs of Stripping

Wednesday, September 8th, 2010

Stripping has come out of the closet and into the bedrooms of the mainstream. Stripping has begun to find its way into local exercise studios and even into our very own living rooms. So, why is that stripping has shed its former stereotypes? People have begun to realize that it’s sexy.

It isn’t rocket science, yet most people believe that the notion of stripping entails doing blow off a hard cock and end the show with a lesbian act. However, stripping can be as simple as dancing for your lover and taking off your clothes. Even wearing clothes that are sexier is an act of stripping, or burlesque if you will.

The art of the striptease has been around for a long time. Burlesque was once a humorous, theatrical form of entertainment which was comprised of taking off ones clothes. The modern day nude-bars take this entertainment to the next level, making it a hyper sexualized alternative.

The environment that stripping has been confined to has given it some nasty preconceived notions. The art of stripping itself is all about one of the sexiest traits of all – confidence. Nothing is sexier than a partner whom is self confident and not afraid to show it. Stripping has come out of the club and into the backyard of many, captivating us with the ability to harness our own sexual powers.

If you think you can’t, give yourself a slap on that fine ass of yours and think again. Its as easy as reciting your ABCs!

A – Attitude

A stripper has to have an attitude that makes the viewer feel like ripping their clothes off as well. You could be wearing a a paper bag and toilet paper, as long as you have a sexy style, your viewer will be dying for more.

B – Body

A lot of people have issues with their bodies – many say that it isn’t good enough to strip. You need to realize that your partner loves your body, and you should too. We all have certain insecurities that are almost always unwarranted. There is no reason you shouldn’t strive to be confident of your body, and want to strut your sexy ass.

C – Costume

Men like to see a little creative endeavor involving tits and ass any day of the week, and a costume can be one way of changing it up. A role like a nurse or french maid will make his cock so hard, and his pants will rip off from sheer sexiness. If you want to try something a little more original that caters to his tastes, he’ll be happy to come home and see you dressed up like his favorite tele-tubby.

The Madonna of Orgasm: Soon to be a Church

Wednesday, September 1st, 2010

Church ministers are usually the last people you would expect to praise orgasms at the podium. If you have ever been to a church where the sermon started off “And God said to Abraham, thou wilt spread thy seed all over her tits”, you were likely at the peak of your acid trip, screaming at an ice cream box on the street corner outside a Target. Well if you’re ready for the greatest mind fuck of your life, be prepared for the orgasm church in Sweden, something that is being proposed by a legitimate church minister.

In southern Sweden, Lovestad, a battle has been raging to properly register a faith community. Sweden’s Supreme Administrative Court has made the church a slippery fish to handle. The spanish founder and self appointed cardinal of the church, Carlos Bebeacua, has led a campaign for what he hopes will become the first church to praise orgasms as God.

Bebeacua once told tabloid Kvällsposten: “The orgasm is the ultimate feeling of lust, it shouldn’t be limited to ejaculation. You can reach it through art or by looking at a landscape and thinking ‘Wow!’”

The Madonna of Orgasm, which the church is appropriately called, was focused around painting by Bebeacua that had sparked controversy during the 1992 World Fair in Seville, Spain. Since then, he has committed himself to founding a worship for what he believes is the true god – orgasms.

His bold beliefs have been matched with thundering dick slaps from Sweden’s Financial and Adminstrative Services Agency who refuse to register his application for the church as a religion. The agency has allegedly said that the church’s name would offend Christians, since it was to unconventional and a clear reference to the Virgin Mary.

Bebeacua has garnered support from local Christian communities, including a Church of Sweden Parish priest who welcomed the unconventional religion. Bebeacua also commented that the word Madonna, is literally translated to “my lady” and does not reference the Virgin Mary.

The success of the church is still wavering as the administrative court has ruled its name offensive to religious groups, and to the general religious proposals allegedly commenting that they “cause offense not only in the broad groups of the population that have Christian roots, but also in society as a whole.”

Those of us who know a good fuck is the closest we’ve ever been to heavenly bliss would be happy to throw this guy a bone, even if all he wants to do is get it off.

Furry Friends Not Always So Friendly

Monday, August 16th, 2010

There is a whole contingent of people in the world who get off on dressing up in animal suits and rubbing their furry bodies against each other…unsurprisingly, they have been coined furries.

Sometimes the sex isn’t the endgame for these folks though, sometimes they just feel more comfortable moving through the world as animals than as people. For instance: Gary Guy Matthews the 46 year old jobless computer technician is a furry who dresses himself up as a dog named Boomer. He went so far as to legally request to change his name to “Boomer the Dog,” but got denied in his request because the judge claimed his name would cause confusion if he were ever to tell an emergency operator his name.

Yeah, because that’s the issue, your honor; it’s not that whoever arrives at said emergency scene will find a man in a dog costume right?

Good old Boomer hasn’t given up though, he still spends the majority of his life dressed up in his outfit and wandering around town.

Then, on the less innocent but somehow less creepy side of things, there are your every day pervert furries, like the Donald Duck actor who molested a woman at the Epcot center recently. Apparently Donald made a solid effort to grab her tits and then went with the classic “Whooooo Meeee?” pose.

Great plan my fine furred friend, don’t blame it on the awkward costume and accidental touching, just try and play it off like you’re a REAL cartoon duck, with a real cartoon sex addiction.

Groups of Furries get together all over the country for conventions where they arrive dressed as their animal of choice and spend the weekend in costume, interacting like members of some kind strange farm, like someone slipped LSD into the drinking water at Old MacDonald’s.

There are reports of things called Miffing piles too, where the furries get all their sexual tensions out by piling into a big ball of gyrating costumed weirdo and rub themselves against each other to climax. Basically a weird circus gangbang.

Fun Stuff. To each their own I guess!