A buddy of mine told me something in confidence. I told him I would take this story to the grave. Turns out, I’m not a good friend. Some stories just need to be told. Ryan (not his real name) was dating this very quiet girl, a real carpenter’s dream. So quiet in fact that if you were right next to her when she was speaking, you couldn’t hear what she was saying. It’s akin to the Seinfeld episode with the low talker where Jerry is forced to wear the “puffy shirt” on the Today Show. She was cute so we didn’t give Ryan any flack about dating a chick who barely spoke and when she did no one was privy to what she was saying unless you had supersonic hearing. Like most men, Ryan assumed that quiet girls were animals in bed. He was right. After the jump find out why their sex life was so….hilarious.
Posts Tagged ‘Sex’
Have A Laugh With Clown Sex
Thursday, March 1st, 2012
Scissor Sister Sex
Wednesday, February 29th, 2012My favorite thing to watch when I’m getting an eyeful of free HD porn is girl on girl, especially tribbing videos. I’m more intrigued than anything because it looks to me like bumper cars with body parts. After the jump I’ve provided a nice pictoral and technical (but also very XXX) explanation of tribbing.
Pregnant Sex – Banging For Your Baby
Monday, February 27th, 2012Babies man, what a trip. They’re always crying or leaking from some orifice and they’re expensive. I don’t even have money in my bank account to buy a cheeseburger or a serious girlfriend right now. However, should I meet that special honey and plant my seed in her bush for life, to quote the Roots, I’d hope that we could continue to have sex while there’s another human growing inside of her. For those of you who find yourselves with an expectant lady read on after the jump and learn the best positions for pregnant sex.
Man, I hope that’s not alcohol in her glass.
Is Raven Alexis A Dirty Porn Star Or A Dirty Liar?
Sunday, February 26th, 2012In June of 2011 porn star hottie Raven Alexis announced that she had stage 4 brain cancer. If you know anything about the illness, you know that stage 4 means it’s time to start writing your will. There were T-shirts made, prayers said and the entire adult community seemed to be behind her as she faced the long, hard road ahead of her. Now, the tide has shifted. Blogs and articles are popping up all over the Internet claiming that Raven Alexis lied about being sick. Read on after the jump and make your own conclusions.
House of Pain – Bondage Sex
Wednesday, February 22nd, 2012There are certain things I’ve never done. For instance, I’ve never recorded the final out in the World Series, shut out the San Jose Sharks in the Conference Finals and engaged in BDSM. There’s a very good chance that I’ll never do the first two things, but the last one could come to fruition. Read on after the jump and learn about XXX sex, doms and subs, bondage play and how to do it safely while still getting your rocks off.
Your Missionary Sex Mission
Tuesday, February 21st, 2012Your mission, should you choose to accept it is to have sex with your partner in the missionary position. We know what you’re thinking, boring with a capital B! But, I’ve got some tips for you to make your mission as climatic as possible. Read on after the jump and turn a regular missionary fuck in to a XXX cum fest.
Rock The Boat With Nautical Sex
Thursday, February 9th, 2012With Valentine’s Day just around the corner I’m starting to loose sleep. No, not because I have a special lady in my life but because there’s a lady I’d like to have special sex with. I met this girl the other day at the gym. She’s perfect. And by perfect, I mean smoking hot. Her personality is probably great but who cares, right? Judge me in a minute because in order to have a passionate XXX night with this woman I have to sit through the worst movie ever made: Titanic. Oh, and I have to sit through it in 3D because that’s how it’s being re-released. Do you not have enough money, James Cameron?!? Sorry, I’ll try and compose myself. But, there is one good thing about this whole Titanic nonsense, I get to fuck this chick after our date. I know this because she told me that she wants to have sex with me but would prefer if I took her out somewhere first and she decided on seeing Titanic. Anyway, this whole business got me thinking about boat sex. After the jump, I hope you’ll be thinking about it too.
Rise Of The Sex Machines
Wednesday, February 8th, 2012Cum with me if you want to live. A wise man once said that. Well, he didn’t really say that, he said come not cum but hey, this is about women getting their jollies on fucking machines. You’ve all seen Sybian clips in the free hd porn you watch on your smart phone when you think no one’s looking, but have you seen the fucking machines? These are the creme de la creme of sex technology. Don’t be jealous, your dick could never penetrate that far, that hard and that fast. Accept that the machines are taking over.
Top 3 In-Car Sex Positions
Tuesday, February 7th, 2012Whenever I’m behind the wheel of my shitbox (’95 Ford Escort! How the thing still runs is beyond me.) I always imagine I’m having sex with the my favorite XXX hottie Faye Reagan. The problem with having sex in cars is there’s no way to be creative. You’re working in a cramped space and there’s always the threat of Johnny Law knocking on your steamy windows, telling you to take your dick out of that girl’s mouth before he takes you both downtown. However, I’ve found three positions that are guaranteed to make you shoot your cumshot – jizz all over the dashboard (or lady juices if you’re doing girl on girl). Read on after the jump and find out how you can get off while getting on the road.
A Sex Super Bowl Threesome
Sunday, February 5th, 2012Today two NFL juggernauts will go head to head in the biggest game of the year: The Super Bowl. Afterwards I’m going to try to get a Giant’s cheerleader and Patriots cheerleader to fuck me at the same time. Are you turned on yet? You should be because this crazy threesome sex is really going down…in my head. But you should still read on because after the jump I’m giving you a hot pictorial of threeways done right.
