The boner-shrinker moments can be reasoned through even if not predicted or prevented. We know full well why certain things arouse us while others repel. When both feelings can come from the same person, a date we are seducing or even a long-term lover we thought, up to that moment, we knew everything about, it is startling to say the least but no less powerful. Just because we spend a good amount of time with someone and put a lot of attention into building an intimacy doesn’t mean they can’t literally be the buzz-kill in our life.

Some actions, speech or attitudes that turn us off are fleeting; they only surface when our partner is challenged or not feeling their best or simply feels passionate about something. Those passing seconds might chill us to the bone, see us retreat up off a pussy, pop a cock from our mouth or roll over in frustration, but we can weather the storm of those rough seas and get back to loving our partner once again by simply swallowing what they said, ignoring-as best we could-some silly momentary action on their part. It’s the prolonged true differences, the real meat and potatoes of what people are made of, the contrary natures we all have that surface time and again that cause us to flee or rethink or love-affairs. A stop in the action over some quick hurtle can be hopped, skipped and jumped if it doesn’t speak to the very nature of who a person is.

For the most part we are prepared to be confronted by the things we like and do not like about someone we are in a romance with. For those times we hope the caring we have built and the love we feel we see us through a few boner-shrinking seconds and get us back on the straight and narrow with our partner.

The reasons are bountiful but they all center round the cheating guy simply not being able to keep his cock in his pants. For a man to be monogamous he must fight his very nature and when he loses that fight he will do the only thing available to him post the extra-curricular screwing; he will find a reason other than his pumping libido to blame for his infidelity.
But whether he blames God, country, to help save his marriage or his sanity the one irrefutable fact is man will forever look for reasons and believe them when he latches on to a good one.

The reality is, that in a marriage two people are responsibility for the intimacy, the monogamy and if and when either fail, fray or decline. A man can no more look at his biological need as an excuse then he can ignore where his partner is in the entire proceedings. Both people are responsible for making or making a commitment. Both people contribute to the romance and either ever forward trying to keep alive or stagnate and kill it. When a man, or women for that matter, cheats they do so in reaction to their mate or not in reaction to them. Passivity is just as bad sometimes as nagging and mocking. Certainly one person goes out and beds another partner, steps out on their mate, makes the beast with two backs with someone not their lover, but both partners in a love affair are duplicitous, responsible to what they bring to the marriage and what they take out. We can’t push someone from our bed into another’s unless they are willing to go, but we can create a home atmosphere that makes it easier to leave, biological imperative or not. A man might find his excuse but sometimes they are born from circumstance ore then rationalizations.