The problem with any playacting is that it can traipse the bounds of good taste or even simply exhaust the players. Living in the heightened sense of sexual lust kinksters do when playing, sometimes one can work themselves into quite the lather with what they are doing but spin themselves down a rabbit hole of possibilities that restricts more than widens one’s world view. The longer one adopts a character, dresses a part and acts that part, the less possibility for variety there is and the quicker the entire scene can get stale.

Plus, after a while, a grown woman acting like a little girl is simply embarrassing for all involved.

The very thing that fuels a dom over his sub acting like a little girl, and in fact arouses the woman most times to, is that all parties realize that this is a grown woman reduced to or willingly entering the scene acting much younger than her years. This is what role-play is based on after all, us acting different then how we usually act. The differences are certainly arousing watching people morph into a part so completely that they lose themselves, but without realizing who we usually are, without a clear knowledge that everyone in the room realizes is is all playacting, role-play will not work.

After a time we all want the grown woman to stand-up and let her real presence be known. The role-play of the bad little school girl is fine for a finite amount of time, but adult women cooing, flashing their panties and acting naughty to get attention outside of kink play run the risk of being an embarrassment to themselves.
It’s a fine line to skirt when one wears a short school skirt.

It’s sometimes a very tenuous difference between how we act in real life and how we playact, but the difference is important to recognize. The problem with any playing as an adult is that it can hurtle good taste, common sense and propriety. As we do not want to adopt our weekend-warrior touch-football mentality into our 9-5 corporate existence, we don’t want to grovel like the little doggie we pretend we are for our master or mistress on a Saturday night; there literally is a time and place for everything. Heightened senses of sexual need does not the best judgment make, so erring on the side of a specific time and place for our role-playing as well as the time and place it ends, is prudent to keeping the role-play fresh and exciting and our dignity intact.

Simply put, the longer we stay in character, dress in the specific clothes, speak in the patter and do all that the role-play allows and demands the more time is on our back, the less possibility for variety there is and the deeper the risk we run of one partner slipping out of the play or the need for it before the other. The very aspect of what fuels the fun or reacting to our lover in this way is that we know this is play, maybe answering a fetish, routing round a kink we do not indulge normally.

A vacation is only a vacation because we come back from the beach and get on with the drudgery of our real life after a prescribed amount of time. Our brains do not work well pretending all the time, we grow stale, bored and will light out for ever more diversions if we are not brought back to the mundane realities of our lives and face the real people we are in a relationship with after a time.

For a lot of men and women who role play open huge doors of erotic possibility: chances for couples to put on simple or even eventually complicated scenes that can also lead to play such as dominance and submission: where one partner will be a slave or servant to the other ; though that is a whole new world of exploration that has its own rules and difficulties as well as new possible benefits.

Role-play doesn’t necessarily lead one to kink nor kink needs role-play it is just that possibilities exist for all the great things we might get into

Role playing also has plenty of opportunities for expanded play by doing things like buying whole outfits and costumes so the people who are pretending to be other people for sexual play can have not just a new personality but also a whole new wardrobe that can help with the play in all kinds of new and fun ways. Some couples also go as far as to take their new personalities out for a date or even on vacation: pretending to be other people in hotels, restaurants and so forth.

So think about role playing if you are interested in expanding your sexual horizons in new and possibly stimulating ways.

For the layman to assume certain polarization assumptions is expected, but even those people involved in BDSM make assumptions that are wildly off the mark. It is as much wishful thinking by those people who see someone across a crowded dungeon and wish they to be what they want them to be, as much as it is the heightened sexuality of a fetish and kink meeting. The reason why people of specific sexual orientations congregate is to hopefully facilitate some sort of sexual activity. They might truly be friends, they might not play together nor ever want to, but all people who log-on to fetish websites or meet at kink munches or play-space scene parties do so less to be social and more because they want to engage at their kink.

The rule of thumb though for the experienced kinkster is simply not to assume anything by how someone is dressed or even how he or she act. Maybe a kinky guy or girl are switches anyway, so at any given time they might be wanting to act dom as they might want to act sub. As with every other aspect of life, if we label someone even before we truly get to know him or her, we won’t learn all of the many facets of our companion’s personality. Even in the specifics of kinky role-play we do well to quell our assumptions until we are bent over or bending someone over.

Most times a person’s true intention or their headspace becomes quickly known in a kinky scene, even if all that person is doing is watching other’s play, but it’s best for all people who might want to even think of hooking-up to forgo assumptions and simply get to know one another.

This is not a fact anyone wants to admit to, it would be the death knell to anything long term, but it is the truth as we are all too aware.

This same Catch-22 exists for kinky sex, even more so.

In order for any man or woman to truly indulge their fetish, explore some BDSM, open themselves up for even the possibility of kinky play with a partner they must trust that partner implicitly. Whether one assumes the role of dom or sub, both people looking to begin the action, role-play, sex games must know they are safe, for the moment, to step slightly far afield of their usual comfort zone. The better one knows one’s kink partner the better a chance for trust and therefore a better scene. But the very fact that we don’t know what a partner might do in a scene, the fact that we might be teased, tortured and trapped by someone who does not know us and they us is exciting, is in fact at the root of the implied danger of all kinky sex scenes and is what drives them.

For lovers who know one another well and play all the time, role-play often masks familiarity and sometimes the addition of another party helps to fuel some danger but in the very best aspects of kink play-trust, long-time partnership, communication-is its very fault.

The true petard of exploring sexual desires that put us on edge, challenge and maybe even frighten us-as most BDSM play does-is that, for the most part, if we are familiar with someone, safe, if they are partners we have played with before, then they are a known quantity and there is very little true excitement that can come when we know a lover well.