Posts Tagged ‘pussy’

The Disembodied Pussy

Tuesday, March 8th, 2011

tumblr_lghjt4u9UX1qbzd9eo1_500Men only ever become pussy whipped because they want to.

Straight boys are fascinated in a woman’s vagina almost to the exclusion of all else-expect friction-and this chalice of womanhood has been celebrated in art, music, free porn, and literature as much as the phallus that fits inside it. Other female body parts may fascinate the straight guy, even gat man have been known to take notice of a firm high shelf of breasts or a nice swaying buttocks, still it is the vagina that ultimately has the most pull.

But over the time of a straight man’’s life the cunt, vaja-jay, hairpie-whatever it is to be called-becomes less of a fascination, less something women can hold out from their partners or wield with impunity.

Because over time, men realize there is a woman attached to that pussy.

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It takes a man a while but he does come around. First he has to get his mind off fucking. He has to realize that the fact that his dick is hard is truly only fascinating to him! Hopefully from this ephifany he learns to care about and subsequently please his bed partner, whomever he or she happens to be. Lastly, the man might grow to the point where he stops objectifying, or at least tempers his need to objectify, body parts to the exclusion of the person who sports a pair of breasts or a cute ass. And then, the very thing women wish men would do more often-notice them as a whole-renders a woman less powerful.

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If a man begins to notice the whole woman, not just her ass, tits and that deep well of her mystery her vagina, then the woman no longer has the mystery of her parts to hold over her man. Men who wish to be controlled by the cunt can still be, but that is a self-imposed slavery to a body part most adult men will not coddle. Seasoned guys will no longer worship a woman’s parts simply because they have grown to the point where they recognize a woman is a sum of her parts. Sure, guys are still set-up to see first and fit the piece into the whole later, but the pieces become less important as men grow older.

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Or if not, they stay ready and waiting to be pussy whipped …just like they want to be.

Shaving The Beaver

Monday, February 14th, 2011

Shaving your girlfriend’s pubes can be an experience more gratifying than stumbling across a quality free porn site. However, going about this ancient skill requires confidence and a certain know-how that not every man is blessed with. Failure to perform this correctly could result in something I like to call (UPC) – that’s short for unfounded pussy complex. Doing it correctly on the other hand, will ensure that your ladie’s vag is trimmed to your exact specifications and that sex will be that much hotter. Read on for a breakdown :

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Required Prep-Work - First things first, do not just jump into it and casually ask if you can shave her beaver. That is relationship suicide. She will either think you’re a total pervert with some weird pube fetish or she’ll take it an insult that her vag is too bushy. Start by complimenting it with words like: sexy, pretty and delicious. Calling it a “pretty fish taco” won’t do. You can then proceed to give her enough oral sex to prove just how into her you really are.

Suggest By Example – One of the best ways to get your girl comfortable with the idea of a bare beaver is by displaying your neatly trimmed package in all its glory. After all, you can’t expect her to fall into you shenanigans if you can’t even handle your own bush. Once that’s taken care of, bring up your newly trimmed nut-scruff and try to get her opinion on it. Ask her if it made sex feel any better and if you should stick to that “hairstyle” from now on. This talk will eventually lead her into asking you about her own bush, in which case you finally suggest playing barber.

Time To Party – Now that you’ve gotten her ready to slip into the shower or bathtub, it’s time to make your move. Make sure to keep a razor around so you don’t have to casually leave to go grab one (new blade, preferably). That would just look sad. Now, have her sit with her ass between your thighs and proceed to apply plenty of shaving cream. As for direction, always go for grain down. You don’t want to end up cutting her lady bits.

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Masturbate The Modern Way With The Tenga Egg

Wednesday, February 9th, 2011

The subject of sex toys is no news to the folks at Orgasm. Having seen just about everything the market has to offer, coming across a product that makes us get up off our seats is reason for celebration. Most recently, a friend forwarded me a YouTube video marketing one of the most revolutionary male-oriented sex toys I have ever seen, the Tenga Egg. Ten minutes later and I had half a dozen of those bad boys on their way.

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Following in the footsteps of products like the popular Fleshlight, the Tenga Egg is essentially a masturbatory aid that mimics a real-life pussy like nothing else. Encased in a plastic egg, the product itself consists of an ‘Onacup’ which is the name for a Japanese brand of artificial vaginas invented by the legendary Mr. Matsmoto in 2006. Since its release, it’s become so popular that it sold over two million units worldwide. Now that’s a whole lot of masturbating.

Understanding the product to the full of its abilities requires watching the video but in a nutshell, it basically consists of a jelly-like egg with a hole on one end. By adding some lube to its interior and ‘rim’, you can then proceed to stick your dick in there and go to town with your favorite free porn site, or without, whatever strikes your fancy.

Tenga eggs come in a variety of different ‘terrains’. What that means is that depending on your preference of bumps and grooves, you’ll be sure to always find something you like, or keep yourself entertained by trying them all.

For those who still need some convincing, read on for a couple of Tenga Egg facts that might help you place an order (or not):

- After personally testing out all of the different egg varieties, I can safely say that they are all different and provided me with different sensations. It’s like fucking a different woman everyday minus all the emotional baggage.

- The included lube is probably the best I’ve ever used. Highly recommended.

- It actually feels like you’re having sex or getting a blow-job. It definitely puts the fleshlight to shame.

- Being disposable, that means clean-up is as simple as tossing it in a bin; however, given that a ‘Tenga Egg Variety Pack’ (6 units) costs a whopping a $34.99, it will be the most expensive stick beating you’ve ever had.

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Sex Getaway Tips

Tuesday, January 11th, 2011

Traveling with your significant-other can be both heaven and hell on earth. While you’ll have plenty of chances of having as much sex as possible (sans free porn, for once), being together all day, everyday could start to take its toll. In order to prevent any possible vacation tragedies, read on for a list of preventative measures that might save you from regret.

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Have Tons Of Crazy Sex – We all know that it’s not everyday where you are blessed with a hotel, room service and not having to worry about going to work the next day. With that in mind, make sure to take this opportunity to have as much sex as you possibly can. Failure to do so might make your girlfriend wonder why you’re acting like such a pussy in such an opportune moment.

Avoid Spring Break – Despite knowing that you’d be more than pleased to attend a wet t-shirt contest, bringing your girlfriend along is a recipe for disaster. Not only do you run the risk of her acting like a jealous lunatic, but your girl might have to endure hundreds of horny dudes grinding up against her. It’s simply not worth it.

Take The Occasional Break – While the whole point of a romantic getaway is to spend as much time together as possible (and to have plenty of orgasms), taking some alone time is also a requirement. Failure to do so might result in petty fights and/or having you two come home sick and tired of each other’s presence. Try treating her to a spa session while you sit back and do your own thing.

Know That Shit Happens – There is nothing worse than a grumpy traveling companion. In order to prevent yourself from spoiling your own vacation, always expect the worst. Cancelled flights, extra charges and perhaps even a broken arm (you never know) do happen, so don’t let one bad event ruin everything else. Make the most of the time you have left and you’ll avoid coming back home single.

Groupies

Friday, December 31st, 2010

A term coined by a British journalist in the 50′s, the word groupie is now synonymous with backstage female hanger-on’s who ply band members, athletes, theatre actors or even comedians with sexual favors post-show. Almost always one hundred percent female-though there are certainly gay men who will ply a famous singer or hockey player with a blow job-the girls who service the boys-in-the-band or the sports star in the back of the bus, are almost always young comely creatures dressed to reveal their ample charms and wily ways. Famed in song and story, infamous in legend and on the local landscape, groupies have been part of the live performance scene, no matter what the performance is, for as long as anyone can recall.

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It was in the 60′s though, with the meteoric popularity of rock and roll when groupies began to gain notoriety of not actual celebrity above and beyond the specific medium they played in. Because of the mercurial nature of isolated rock stars, often thousands of miles from home, women providing these rock gods who with a meal, a possibility of clean laundry and a soft willing pussy for the night suddenly began to be able to demand their price. And their price would include drugs, clothes and jewelry; unlimited travel to and from the gigs where their boyfriend was coming to and fro from; and most importantly spending time with popular musician and having his attention in and out of bed. Being a consort of the king, even if there was more then one king any given week jetting through Los Angeles, De Moines or New York City, these women held an exalted position even if it was transitory.

This was also before the time of HIV and other dangerous STD’s so rampant today. If a woman was taking her birth control pills, then truly there wasn’t much to worry about with casual sexual contact other then a passing around a case of VD, easily cured with some penicillin injections. A Hedonistic lifestyle, a constant party and orgies of paralleled size and indulgence was the girl’s life as long as she could sustain her libido or keep her musician happy for as long a she stayed in her town. Competition fierce, with ass, tits and cunts being thrown at him in a never-ending barrage of pink firm parts, the rock gentry had his pick of whichever groupie took his fancy.

These days the scene has much quieted. The ravages of time have seen groupies married or retired, or both. Rock stars are either too old to partake in such running around are married or not touring any longer and whole new generation of musician, sports star and the women who want them have replaced the older generation.

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So, You Wanna Be a Male Pornstar?

Sunday, December 19th, 2010

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Becoming, indeed, being, a male porn star, is much more difficult than you might think. Many of you out there probably think it’s all about titty fucking and loose pussy. Not so, friends, not so. Here’s what you gotta consider if you’re thinking about becoming the next Ron Jeremy. (Note: there will NEVER be another Ron Jeremy.)

1. Ask yourself: do I really want to be a porn star? This is important. If you’re going to actually cut it as a porn dude, you have got a lot of fucking work to do – hard work, do you really want to do that work just to get into porn? What are mommy and daddy going to say?

2. Ask yourself: do you have stamina? You can not work on getting your stamina up to porn star levels, you just have to have it. Can you stay hard in a pussy for two hours? No?! Then move along, buddy.

3. Ask yourself: do you know a super hot girl who is willing to enter the porn biz with you? People hate male porn stars because they suck. The only way anyone is really going to pay attention to you at the beginning is if you waltz-fuck your way through the door with a smoking hot woman who is willing to perform with you, and only you. Ha! Good luck!

4. Ask yourself: is your penis fucking spectacular? Is your cock big and tall and smooth and sexy? Can it also shoot shocking amounts of cum? Do women actually like having sex with you (like, actually)? Are you a handsome, handsome, handsome devil? Because if you don’t have all of these qualities you should just forget your ridiculous porn dreams right now; competition out in pornland is fierce for the men these days.

If you’ve gotten to the end of this list and have said no to one through four, don’t feel too bad. The fantasy of the industry is much better than the reality – I promise.

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Cunnilingus Could Save The World

Wednesday, December 15th, 2010

images-1It simply might come down to something a woman might want so much because she can’t do it for herself. Sure men seek our blow-jobs all the time for this reason, but a blowjob is almost common place-it certainly is in porn – where cunnilingus isn’t something women talk too much about, or at least not to their lovers, but they do want it. In some cases the only way a woman can come with a partner is if that partner licks her clit or kisses her labia. But so many women are turned off to their partner’s lack of dropping or their own fear about their scent that they don’t ask for what they really need.

But cunnilingus could save the world …or at least some staid relationships. A man eating pussy will learn the nuisances of the vagina. He will get down close to it. See it for what it is and the veil of mystery of the folds, ridges, valleys and tips of flesh that is a woman’s vagina will be revealed. Though the man who goes down might not come away knowing his date any better having been down on her muffin but he will have a new perspective that what the woman has in her pants is not some unknown crevice where his cock simply thrusts, rubs and eventually cums in or his fingers get entangled inside.

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For the woman who is having their vag eaten, licked and attended to so lovingly by her man-or woman-they know that not only do they have their man-or woman’s-attention, but that they can relax basking in a moment that is wholly about them. Selfish as it is to lie back and let someone perform oral sex on you, it is needed from time to time for each sex to take as well as give. And for all too many women, fingers are simply not adept enough and a cock too rough-and usually too intent on its intent-to really provide the adequate time and maneuvers needed to really bring her to her best orgasm. Wet to wet, soft tongue to these softest pink parts and face to genitals, there is no better way to show intimacy and a overall caring for a woman’s pleasure then to put one’s face deep in her briny scent and lick her until she thrashes about the bed in ecstasy.

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The Nubile Nymph

Tuesday, November 23rd, 2010

imagesVirna Reynolds was lonely and depressed. Her best friend Alicia was vacationing in Europe, and her husband of forty years had been gone for less them six months. After wandering around her apartment for about a week, the long legged lady dialed the number Alicia had given her before she left and after two rings, a sultry feminine voice on the other end of the line answered, “Sensations Unlimited, how may I help you, this is Miranda speaking?”

Fear shot through Virna but she shouldered on, saying: ”This is Mrs. Reynolds, I’m a friend of Alicia Donner, she recommended your establishment. I was just wondering if you had any openings…for today?”

“Mmmmmm, Mrs. Reynolds,” Miranda said in her silky voice, “how is Mrs. Donner, we haven’t seen her in few weeks?”

“Uh, she’s in Europe,” Virna replied.

“One of her usual trips, no doubt,” Miranda went on, “Well, we have an opening at two this afternoon, if that’s agreeable?”

“Yes, two will be just fine,” Virna replied, “see you then, and thank you.”

Wow, Alicia really did have pull, Virna reasoned.

“Mrs. Reynolds, it’s so nice to meet you,” Miranda said an hour later while shaking Virna’s hand.

“Alicia’s told me so much about the place,” Virna offered, trying to mask her nervousness with a tight smile.

After both of them had taken a seat in Miranda’s sumptuously appointed, office, the salon manager continued: ”Have you given any thought as to what sort of entertainment you had in mind?”

“Well, I…” Virna said slowly.

“Allow me to make a suggestion? Something Alicia herself sometimes prefers?”

Virna nodded her head vigorously. ”That would be perfect,” she sighed.

Miranda turned to a small table to her right, poured them two glasses of a deep red wine from a stubby carafe, then passing a glass to Virna turned to her intercom, pushed a button and said: ”Sharri, please send in Mona.”

Virna took a long swallow. A woman! she thought to herself. Well, if Alicia could…

The two women drank and made small talk for five minutes when there was a knock on the office door.

“I think you’re going to be especially pleased,” Miranda stated, standing to walk to the door.

“Mona has just turned eighteen and…”

The salon manager opened her door in to an incredibly lovely young woman standing there wrapped in only a bright pink towel.

“This is Mrs. Reynolds, dear,” Miranda said and bade the blonde beauty into the room. Virna stood and smiled.

Without so much as a word, the tiny nymph dropped her cover, and stood casually in front of the two older women. She was a petite blonde with high small tits, wide hips and a perfect pretty little pussy, lightly covered with a spray of blonde hair.

“What do you think?” Miranda asked softly.

“What’s good enough for Alicia, is good enough for me,” Virna said and gulped down the rest of her wine.

Mona led Virna by the hand down a long corridor to a door that opened up into a suite of rooms that contained a hot tub, an entertainment center, and of course a bed.

“This is my favorite room,” the willowy beauty said closing the door.

“Would you let me let me help you out of those clothes?”

As Mona began to unbutton the front of Virna’s blouse, the older woman pushed her hand away and said, “I’m a little nervous about this, over the years I’ve put on a little weight, and well, I’m just…”

Mona giggled and replied, “Don’t be embarrassed, Virna, I just love big tits.”

Virna actually giggled then, her pussy pulsating ever so fast even though she was so damn nervous.

“Oh, dear,” Mona whispered when she got Virna’s shirt open. “I have to suckle those.”

Mona pressed her face into the lady’s bra and Virna felt her pussy lips open even more.

Mona extracted first her right breast up and over the low cut of Virna’s bra, licked her hard nipple then did the same to the left.

“Y-you do that so well,” Virna panted.

“We all have a specialty here,” the young girl said and helped Virna take off her bra.

As she lie the older woman on the before her, Mona smiled and pulled Virna’s skirt down her long legs with her teeth.

“Thought that’s not my only specialty”, the little girl said coming back up to face Virna’s soaking panties.

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Broken Strap

Monday, November 22nd, 2010

Stella Eden, Esq. spun around in her desk and reached for a law book on the top shelf of her bookcase, but as she stretched up to retrieve it, snap, her right bra strap tore away from its moorings. For Stella and her 42DD cup bra this was a structural disaster.

“What am I going to do?” she said knowing she was wanted back in the judge’s chamber in twenty minutes.

She made J-street in five, flicked her cell on vibrate and managed into the big Macy’s on the corner.

Running (as best she could considering all the bouncing she was doing) Stella ran into the woman’s lingerie department where she met a smiling salesman thankfully as old as her forty-two years.

“Mishap at work?” the pretty black lady asked, obviously noticing Stella’s big right boob free and bouncing under her blouse while her left was high and supported.

“42dd?” lady asked and the woman turned from Stella for all of a minute then returned with a pretty white bra.

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“Would you?” Stella tried rushing with the lady back to the tiny fitting rooms as her cell buzzed and nipple rubbed against her blouse.

“Do you find that at the end of the day your breasts are just dying to relax a little,” the lady asked when they entered the tiny room and closed the slatted door.

She helped Stella remove her blouse and extricated her from the broken big bra.

“Mmmmm, yes,” Stella replied. “My breasts always feel like they’re in prison until I can get my bra off.”

“Well they are quite magnificent,” the sales lady said facing her now topless customer.

What happen next stunned Stella so much that she just stood there like a statue.

“I’m big myself, 36 double dees, but yours really…” the lady said, reached out, took Stella’s breasts in her dark hands and began massaging them.

“I just love to do my nipples at the end of the day, don’t you?”

Stella’s head began to spin, as the twisting of her nipples sent an electric shock straight to her clit and she tried to stay standing.

When was she needed back in the judge’s chambers?.

“You should go back braless, you are firm enough,” the lady said. She then dipped her smiling face and licked Stella’s right nipple, the one that had been so hard and suffering, and then her left.

“Oh, God suck…suck,” Stella moaned as the woman did just that in the tiny room.

“You want to return the favor?” the lady asked coming off Stella.

She unbuttoned the front of her shirt, unhooked her front clasp bra and presented rosy nipples on her chocolate melons to her new customer.

Stella lean forward and began to suckle the woman against the mirror of the changing room.

“I got to…I got to get back,” she said lifting her mouth off the pretty saleslady. “Can I…?”

“This will fit you, maybe a little tight but no fear of it snapping,” the saleslady said, removed her bra and helped put it around Stella.

“Oh God it’s so tight, I…”

“Yes you can,” the black woman said. “It will remind you to come back here at five-thirty and get me.”

“My pussy is on fire, ya know?” Stella said as they walked out of the dressing room and the salesgirl buttoned up completely.

“So is mine,” she said. “Imagine if I lick your tits that good what I will do to your pussy?”

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Stella left the store red faced but somewhat calmer then when she he had come in.

Damn she hadn’t even asked the salesgirl her name. Then again, she was wearing the woman’s bra, they were close now!

For The Money

Friday, November 19th, 2010

Gwen Turner tried not to fidget while she waited for Miss Alden to read her resume.

“Hmmm,” the tall older woman hummed while flipping the pages slowly. When she was finished she closed the folder, removed her reading glasses, leaned back in her chair and asked: “Why do you want to work for Mr. Valentine, Miss Turner?”

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Gwen had experienced enough job interviews to know she couldn’t bullshit April Alden. Every woman in LA wanted to work for Hal Valentine and quite a few did. Gwen knew the money was good and she had heard the stories…both of which she wanted to experience first hand.

“For the money ma’am,” she replied. “Mostly.”

“A reasonable answer,” replied Miss Alden, “and by the way you smile when you say ‘mostly’ I assume you know about the ‘duties’, Mr. Valentine expects his girls to perform?”

“Well, yes ma’am, I’ve heard.”

“Let’s give you a try then,” Miss Alden said standing. Gwen followed the woman into the spacious house.

“This is as far as clothes are allowed,” the tall lady said. “When you’re naked and ready, go join the others out back.”

Five minutes later Gwen walked out to a low big pool, a sparkling blue and vanilla colored back patio, and seven women-all bustier, lankier and more beautiful then the next-strewn about on low cloth lounge chairs, naked as she was. She took one of the empty chairs at the eastern edge of the group, the girls smiled and said hello, then she turned to see Hal Valentine himself hopping out of the water.

The handsome man was naked to, his thick cock twitching with each glance across his bevy and within a few minutes he was fully aroused. He stood up and paced in front of the women; Gwen had heard the term “alpha male” but never until this very minute did she understand its significance. Standing in front of her was one of the richest men in the world and she felt her pussy lips pulsating with the complete knowledge that she’d just about do anything the man asked. She reached down and began to tickle a finger through her hairy pussy, trying desperately to gain Hal’s attention, almost not aware she was doing so. When she glanced over at the other girls, she was surprised to find that each and everyone of them was finger fucking herself in the hope of impressing the boss.

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With a motion of his hand, Hal indicated for a buxom blonde girl to get to her feet. Though she should have been, Gwen really wasn’t surprised when the pretty blonde walked from Hal, got on her knees on Gwen’s lounge chair then slid over Gwen’s belly up to her own sweaty big boobs. As with all of the girls here, the blonde was as hairy as Gwen and the two girls tried to maneuver their muffs so that their clits made quick contact. Moaning into position as Hal and the other girls watched, Gwen made sure she was right on target with her clit to the other girl’s, as the two women spread and ‘met’ violently. Hal looked down and began to jerk off over a real busty brunette who had dipped back her head and opened her mouth to take his hot come when he rained it down over her. Gwen and the blonde stiffened their sweet little pussies flooding and crying out in shared shattering orgasms.

Later that evening, while resting in her room, Gwen heard a knock on the door. When she opened it, April was standing there with a bouquet of flowers.

“From the boss, he was very impressed,” the woman said and

Gwen took the flowers.

“Please thank Mr. Valentine and tell him; I want the job,” she said smiling.